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I allow myself to move through ny life at breakneck speed in order to get to the next “thing”— whether thats a job, life stage, relationship, goal, etc.. i have been doing this since I was 15. It wasn’t until this last summer/fall that I stopped to look around at the life I had built and fully feel everything! I enrolled in a grad program 2 years ago, at the encouragement of my partner, and this past fall I really started to see myself in this career. I feel energized by my work and research, I feel cared for by my department. I feel like a fulfilling career is awaiting me, yet I am taking the time to feel settled in my current service job and internship, careful not to rush past the mundanity and sweetness of my life now. I have everything ahead of me, truly what is my hurry?
Feb 19, 2025
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spent the last five or so years in a maze of ennui and self-pity, but i have in the last 18 months slowly been clawing my way towards something resembling the life i want to be living.
i can see the end of the tunnel now, but strangely that amplifies my impatience. when things seemed more hopeless it was perversely sort of freeing - i didn’t know where i should be going, so i wasn’t in a rush. now that i have the full map in my hands i have nothing left to do but drive towards the end. that’s exactly what i wanted, in a sense, but now i have the burden of actually executing on the promises i made to myself - turns out that’s harder than making the promises in the first place! who knew
Mar 3, 2025
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my friend has been recently urging me to just do things i would be hesitant to do. so glad i listen
Mar 5, 2024
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gatekeeping my tricks but idk why more ppl dont do it. cant wait for this mitski concert
Jan 30, 2024