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if there is a simple method to making friends it is seeing the same people at the same place(s) week after week. in some phases of life this is easier; ex, freshman year of college dorm. in other phases of life it is more difficult.
regardless, you have interests. other people have those interests. find people with those interests, that are fun, and also have space in their life for new people. do the interest together at some sort of location. then, invite the various people you've met over for a dinner party. voila- friends.
this isn't always a quick process, and it will likely be often frustrating and disappointing. its worth it though. the internet can help facilitate with meeting similar people who are open to friends.
specific things that have worked for me: going out dancing/club scene, internet(reddit/twitter), friends of friends, seeing movies, having people over for dinner.
good luck!
Mar 11, 2024
Related Recs
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idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025
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a coffee shop, running club, pottery class, karaoke night etc.
Whatever thing ur into. Go to places where you can do that thing regularly.
Eventally and usually pretty organically you will begin to make friends with people. People who you probably have alot in common with because you already have a shared interest. Yay!
I moved to a new state about a year ago knowing no one. I joined an improv class and now I have a whole network of people that I never expected to know. From that network you'll meet other people and so and so on.
Feb 3, 2025
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First off, ditch the misogynistic crowd like the plague (I’m sure you already know this!). Secondly, every pre-existing friendship group feels out of reach until you become part of it. People naturally will gravitate towards people they’ve known longer and are close with. The only way to become more part of a group is to be with them more. This is true of any friendship or friendship group. The more you show up to it, the more it becomes a solid friendship. When you find a person or a group you get on with, keep meeting up with them. Don’t be embarrassed to ask, everyone was new once! And sometimes you don’t even have to ask, if there’s a specific event they always attend, become a regular, just hang out! Friendship doesn’t just happen like we often think it does, it requires being in the same places, and putting in the same effort repeatedly. friendship seemed easier at school, but that’s because you were in the same place with the same people everyday. Obviously keep an eye out for people or groups who are clearly just not wanting to reciprocate that energy and look for people who are open to it! I struggle with this too, especially as someone who can’t get out all the time, but my most recent example is my friend Ant runs a little acoustic night every wednesday, so I’m starting to go every Wednesday to talk to him behind the bar, and to be around our mutual friends who arent necessarily my friends yet but become more so everything I’m there. royallmonarch has a great rec about community when trying to make a city a home that I’ll try to share in the comments cause it wont seem to let me do it here!
Apr 7, 2024
Top Recs from @alternativeculturefan1995
There arent your typical rockers. For one they often post funny notes app apologies. These days they typically either have a trust fund, they are ruining their life, or they live in Philadelphia. It's nice to be at your email job navigating Microsoft Excel while imagining what it would be like to live in "West," to have complicated emotions and relations, to receive a modest $2,000 per month. Probably the best current indie rocker is Alex Walton, who lives in Boston and does not seem to have a trust fund. Her song "My Meds are Working" is a hit dance single, and well worth checking out, followed by her album "Our Desire Lacks Knowing Music."
Mar 22, 2024
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I was just in New Orleans and getting breakfast at this bakery was probably the food highlight. The mushroom boudin boy was very tasty.
Mar 22, 2024