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wait i actually think im not addicted anymore… it took 3 months but now I dont smell someone smoking in their backyard and immediately itch for my pack
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Second only to smoking cigarettes, quitting something that I have done near daily for 7 years is so fucking rock and roll it’s awesome to have moral high ground and an easy win buzzing in the recesses of my brain
Dec 21, 2023
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Granted it was weed and not nicotine, I haven’t vaped in like 21 days and feel so much better for it. Its strange how it happened, though. I literally woke up one day and was like……..nah
Feb 27, 2024
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So not long time ago i wrote about the fact that i wanna quit smoking, it's been kind of hard however i managed to reduce how many cigs i smoke per day with some simple steps (reducing is better than nothing, a 1% progress is better than 0%) :
1 - No morning Cigarette.
2 - No indoors smoking - only in the balcony even if it's So cold outside.
3 - No more after shower cigarette, i rather do my skin care + put on some lotion in order to smell good, because once i smell good i REFUSE to get dirty with the cig smell.
4 - No more smoking while walking (for example when i am going to work, or on my way to a coffeeshop) .
5 - When in the coffeeshop i used to smoke 4 cigs per hour, i reduced that to 3.
6 - Reduce my smoke breaks at work.
7 - i apply hand cream to be able to keep my hands clean and avoid to get them smelly with the smoke cigs when i have the little craving, that i way i can "postpone" the smoke break for after.
8 - if the pack is finished during the day then i avoid to buy one until the next day.
9 - i avoid smoking cigs in the car (no matter how long the road).
10 - Buying one pack for two days instead of one.
I hope with these small steps i will be able to reduce it to the point where i will quit smoking forever ^^
Jan 28, 2025
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I made a Goodreads account recently and it asked me to rate some popular books I’d read before. Little did I know, every time I ranked a book, it would give me 5 more similar to that one, and then 5 more from that, and on and on until a neverending phylogenetic tree of books emerged on my screen.
I was on FaceTime with my friend as I did this, and we compared which books we’d both read, ones we loved, ones we got forced to read in school, ones we read as preteens, etc. But half an hour in and no end to the Goodreads algorithm, but stuck in The Very Hungry Caterpillar-y children’s book branch of the algorithm tree that I couldn’t escape, I started to get mad. So I command-Q’d chrome and called it a day.
This week I went back to organise my To Read list and to purge all the loose one-book memos on my notes app. My professor recently gave me her recommendations on queer literature and I wanted to properly organise them. On my profile it said I’d already read some 100+ books and I’d given them all 5 star ratings. Ok well now that’s pissing me off. Why is there digital clutter on my brand new account, and why did I give all that information to them anyways.? I love to categorise, but did I really need to log my readership of the individual 39 Clues books?
I feel similarly about when I first downloaded letterboxd and it made me go down a similar never ending algorithm of potential movies I’d watched before. I did spend an unreasonable amount of time swiping through those movies trying to remember if I really did watch Horton Hears a Who in 2008(?) or not.
Why do I feel the need to share this with the algorithm? genuinely what purpose does this serve me? Why am I volunteering memories from my 7 year old self when I learnt English by reading Geronimo Stilton books for the first time?
Anyways, I deleted all the past data from my Goodreads account. There’s only logs from my current reads, and the list of books I want to read next. There’s comfort in organising and seeing your life laid out in list/grid categories, like unlocking achievements on video games - oh did you know I read so and so and yeah I was a pretentious little bitch in high school and every YA book I read in 2013 has gotta be logged and
But there’s another type of comfort in keeping that information away from the internet where they’ll find a way to use that data against you. I can‘t think of a single occasion I’d need personalised ads for the chick-lit books I read in primary school but I know the algorithm is going to eventually find a way to sell my nostalgia back to me somehow… I‘m going to open any of my little apps and see hyper specific #ad on my screen.
I know I’ve given so much of me away online already - and look what I’m doing right now(!) , sharing my interests and recommendations to strangers online hah .. I won’t lie about the fact that it brings me joy to live online - it’s been my playground for so much of my life - Like sorry I am literally the internet explorer -But there was a time before I lived on the internet. I don’t think they need to know everything about Then.
I recommend not giving up everything about yourself to the machine
Mar 8, 2024
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Rawdog the sound of society while you walk… the tea is crazy
May 17, 2024