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If you’re hungry but questioning how “healthy” a food or meal is—but the alternative is that you don’t eat at all—that food or meal is healthy by default. Eat!
(former nutritionist who often has to say this to myself too, as chronic illness increases the risk of disordered eating and just being hella stressed doesn’t help either)
Mar 19, 2024
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I'm specifically thinking about times when I can't muster the energy to assemble a full meal, and I say to myself "something is better than nothing" and make myself a pbj on toasted sourdough and vow to eat a green vegetable and hearty protein next time. A small way to be kind to myself when the negative self talk gets a little too loud.
Sep 18, 2024
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This is going to be a long one, so if you don't want to read the whole thing, basically this is just why I will never, ever, eat brown rice sushi.
I love PB&Js, and one of the ways I make myself feel better about that is by making a "healthy" version. I don't add any new steps or ingredients – I just use whole wheat bread, organic peanut butter, and jelly with no added sugar. And it tastes wonderful. Sure, it's more expensive than a regular kid-friendly PB&J, but no more expensive than a lot of other healthy dishes. My point is, I get why people want to make healthier versions of their favourite foods. But some things just aren't meant to be healthy.
Take ramen, for instance. Instant ramen is a true indulgence, a beast of convenience and modernity, so detached from anything resembling cuisine, but it tastes so fucking good, and isn't the artificiality of it part of the charm? Restaurant ramen, on the other hand, is a delicacy, probably made by someone who has been doing it their entire life. If you get it at the right place, at least. And then, for some reason, I see people making "healthy" homemade ramen. What are you accomplishing with that? You're not going to get the richness or luxuriousness you could get at a restaurant, or the pure, uncut satiation of the instant stuff. It's the worst of both worlds. You're spending tons of time and money on a simulacrum. What a waste.
So, if you feel tempted to follow some recipe you found online for healthy fish and chips, ask yourself if it's really worth it. With the time, money, and energy you spend on it, why not try making a new recipe? Chances are, you could make something just as healthy with the same or similar ingredients, that isn't just a bastardization. Think of all the amazing healthy dishes you never learned to make, never tried, because the prospect of healthy fish and chips was so enticing. It sounded too good to be true, and it was, and now you're probably one step closer to giving up on health food forever.
This is getting far too long so I'll leave you with a paraphrase of Hank Hill. "You're not making healthy eating better; you're just making your favourite food worse."
Nov 16, 2024
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your hair falls out. your teeth get yellow and fucked up. your nails weaken and get ugly. you get super cold all the time. your energy gets so low that everyday tasks become extremely difficult.
and you gain all the weight back anyway and then it's ten times harder to lose because you fucked over your metabolism or you die.
i'm speaking from experience. i have starved and i have done crazy shit and i always just gained all of it back. and when i was starving i was so miserable and it just doesn't work long term.
that is harsh but the truth. i'm not going to tell you to not care about the way you look. because everyone cares about that. but the number on the scale is literally irrelevant. you can have two ppl w the exact same weight that look completely different. you yourself can be the same exact weight at different times and look totally different due to muscle/fat ratio. since you say you've let go of the emotional i'm going to keep this advice strictly logical.
when you starve yourself, you trick your body into thinking its in survival mode and then it holds onto fat and lowers your metabolism. you get pushed in a cyclical nature of losing weight and gaining it all back and it gets harder and harder. it doesn't work, has never worked, and just makes you ugly and sad.
the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to stop being scared of calories and instead eat the right ones and the right amount. if you want to fix your metabolism you have to understand calories as a fuel source not as something to be deducted. calories are simply energy. in order to limit your hunger and build muscle, you need enough energy from the right sources.
you need a good combination of protein, fiber, and carbs. you don't need to be perfect lol like i personally dont measure shit bc it's overwhelming and too much work, so just prioritize protein and try to fit in fiber and carbs here and there.
the reason i say to prioritize protein is because that's what builds muscle. building muscle is important even if you don't care about working out because muscle burns fat. when you have more muscle, your metabolism increases and you can eat more because the muscle literally burns the fat and needs more energy (calories).
fiber is important for many health reasons: cholesterol, heart health, bowel movements etc. but since you're still in an ED mindset, the biggest thing for you is that it keeps you full. foods that are high in fiber keep you full for a very very long time. so you can stay in a reasonable caloric deficit without feeling extremely hungry.
carbs. carbs are not your enemy at all. carbs are the body's main fuel source. they give you quick ready to use energy. it also prevents the proteins in your body from being used for energy. so when the body is looking for energy, instead of breaking down the proteins that you want to keep to build muscle the body will use the carbs instead. energy is important because it's what you can use to exercise and live your life.
so, prioritize protein and have a mix of the other two. i think calorie counting can be very triggering and it's easy to get really restrictive with it. so what i did was i had a protein goal (calculated based off my weight) and a fiber goal. i also drink a lot of water and just tried to eat smaller portions. my main issue was i hate food waste and feel a lot of guilt about it. so it's better for me to just start with a smaller plate and add more if im hungry.
speaking of hunger, this next step is essential.
listen to your hunger. do NOT ignore it. if you are hungry, eat. if you are not, don't.
that was the hardest thing for me to do because i always took being hungry as a sign of being skinny. but it completely fucked up my hunger signals and made everything way more difficult. when you are hungry, eat something but just be intentional about what you eat. eat something high in fiber or high in protein. it will tell your body that you aren't in starvation mode and that it is okay to let go of fat. protein bars, yogurts, and fruits are amazing for this. if you continue to not eat when you're hungry then you're fucked. you also don't want to over eat. sometimes when i was stressed or bored, i knew i wasn't hungry but i ate anyway and just made sure to eat something super low calorie. thats a Mistake. because now my body thinks i needed more food and is going to adjust accordingly.
so please, this is the way to healing your relationship with food and understanding that you aren't fighting against your body you need to work WITH it.
next essential step: trust the process.
you have to learn patience and find love in discipline. if you eat the right kinds of foods, listen to your hunger and move your body regularly (literally just walking is so good for weight loss) you Will lose weight. there is so much love in taking care of yourself. there is so much warmth in the discipline of deciding to be good to yourself. you have to get used to slow results because you need to fall in love with the process in order to keep it sustainable.
fall in love with the process and the results will come.
please trust that. it's what changed my life and how i lost 15 pounds and kept it off after 4 years of back and forth disordered eating losing weight and gaining it back.
you also need to remember that your body's purpose isn't to fit a specific standard it's to literally keep you alive. your body is doing it's best every day to keep you alive. once you understand that and feel true gratitude for that, you will really love the process of working with your body.
i have lots of emotional advice i can give but the main logical takeaways:
- starving doesnt work
- stop being scared of calories
- protein, fiber, carbs
- listen to your hunger cues
- trust the process
- patience and love is everything.
specifics:
proteins: meats, tofu, eggs, greek yogurt, lentils, almonds, cottage cheese, black beans, broccoli, cauliflower
fiber: avocado, oats, raspberries, artichoke, pears, apples, strawberries, kiwis etc. othe grains too
carbs: bread, pasta, rice, lentils, chickpeas, etc.
let me know if you have any specific questions. sending you all my love, i know this is a difficult thing to get through.
sending you love and care and patience and strength đź’“
Jul 11, 2024
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bc it’s what I originally wanted when I first went to college at 17 but I was scared to make writing my job and got a B.S. in Nutrition instead lol
Now the goal is an eventual PhD in Victorian Literature but I’m just happy to have made it through this part at 32!
Stacked is everything I read in my English courses—barely pictured are the 5 stuffed accordion folders of other reading materials under my chair haha
May 16, 2024
đźšż
the only place i win the social interaction
Aug 21, 2024
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conflusional. delonfident, even
Oct 1, 2024