Moved here whilst going through a breakup and I’d just gotten laid off. It was really difficult the first couple years, but I put my head down, worked hard, made a lot of inevitably important connections and managed to move past the “surviving” status.
I don’t regret it. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my adult life, and that’s after going through A Lot of trauma during peak COVID years.
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It was a big risk, but I was just laid off from a job I hated and had a fresh breakup on top of that. I had decent prospects as far as potential jobs go, but I wanted to stay in “the city” and I felt like I hit a ceiling in San Francisco. Plus, I’d lived there nearly my entire life. Thus, I had a suspicion that if I couldn’t be happy in New York City, then I wouldn't be happy anywhere.
That was a little over six years ago now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. A LOT has happened here, and I’ve dealt with a ton of grief, but man, I love it here. I have a great job, made some real friends and community, and am living outwardly as my truest self.
I’m sure I could’ve had this in SF if I tried, and I know that this lifestyle will change inevitably, but I love living in a place with an energy that emanates throughout the city.
Mar 6, 2024
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I moved to NYC from a small town after college. I had a lot of support. My parents helped me look for places and we stayed with family nearby. I sublet an apt until friends from college joined me.
Since then I've moved with my partner to places we didn't know anyone and I didn't have a job lined up. It took a while each time but I found a job eventually.
Things wouldn't have ended well for me if I stayed in my small town so I feel you. It's not impossible to go somewhere on your own but it's going to take work to build a life. If you've got some money saved, you could sublet a place for a month and then try like hell to get any job you can in that time, then look for something more permanent at that point. Tbh tho there's going to be a lot of people out of work soon so it's not going to get easier to find a job.
Feb 9, 2025
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🏠decent living situation — awful roommates, deadbeat landlords, or psycho neighbors will make you super miserable so try to get this one locked down!
🫂 homies — making new friends can take a long time, but if you commit to putting yourself out there over and over you’ll connect with some truly inspiring and amazing people
🤑 income (even a little) — yes you can get by on dumplings, no Ubers, no bars, etc. but being broke here feels particularly like a prison because most things are stupid expensive. Be on your grind and then blissfully spend it all away
If you end up getting all 3 of these you’re probably gonna be hopelessly addicted to being here just like me. Welcome to NYC :)
Feb 21, 2024
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(Not literally.)
I’m of the belief that platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. Build a community of folks who meet you where you are and with whom you feel safe and vice versa!
In a perfect world they see all versions of you from rock bottom to ascending, not unlike the intimacy usually reserved for a lover. Fuck that heteronormative bullshit. Do that with your friends. They will give you grace and hold you accountable for foolishness. If you don’t have people like this, go out and make them.
This late night shower thought brought to you by a conversation with a cishet male Uber driver who really needs to love himself more.
Mar 4, 2024
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Work on yourself. Figure out your own likes and dislikes. Date yourself with such vigor, as if you were dating a new lover. That coupled with time passing ought to work wonders.
Mar 15, 2024
This specific meal brought me back to life in the middle of the storm and made me forget my jeans and boots were soaked from the rain
Egg creams for life
Apr 4, 2024