this might not all apply to you, but sometimes if I overthink social interactions in general, I end up missing out on what could have been a really good conversation. I usually like to ask myself what I’m genuinely curious about/want to know about a specific person and let my questions lead into a more fruitful discussion. worst case scenario is that don’t take the bait and then the conversation ends, but most of the time I find people like talking about themselves, which can lead to something y’all have in common.
I also don’t put pressure on myself to “make a friend” after one interaction. some people require crumbs of interactions before they start to let you in!
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Best way to discover the early sparks of friendships, in my experience, is to be genuinely curious about those you happen across. Ask them questions. Find out and ask about their "true self" list of conversation topics.
As you probe and listen and make space for them to talk with a long runway, they'll likely do the same. If not, no worries, there's always someone else.
Feb 11, 2025
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I totally get the temptation to ask insightful and thought-provoking questions but remember sometimes you need to keep it simple. If it's a loud party with lots of people, not everyone is going to want to have a super deep conversation with someone they just met. Small talk is annoying and tedious but sometimes it's a much-needed entry point. Meet some cool people, get their contact info, and then message them later with some big questions.
Jul 20, 2024
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Look at them and notice something that they actively chose today. Easy ones are like clothes, bags, jewlery, makeup or whatever. But you’d probably have even better luck with like if they’re holding a shopping bag or a book or a cup of coffee or the keychain on their keys. idk those are just the examples I thought of. But basically that’s something intentional, so that’s something they will have thoughts/feelings/opinions on. Ask a question or make a comment that requires them to reveal that. Like a question you would want someone in your life to ask you about something that you put energy towards, yk? Like for me I always want to talk to people about books I’ve read or that theyve read. Or when Im holding a food or drink I probably could talk about why I wanted that.
But the most important part dude. Is to gauge reaction after that. If they wanna talk more then yay. If not, you gotta let it go don’t push. It’s a them thing, not a you thing.
Sep 10, 2024
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bar bathrooms, guest bedroom, rooftops, around the corner, empty alleys, pantries, take your pick
Mar 30, 2024
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Sometimes you just gotta call it what it is and move on
Apr 1, 2024