I totally get the temptation to ask insightful and thought-provoking questions but remember sometimes you need to keep it simple. If it's a loud party with lots of people, not everyone is going to want to have a super deep conversation with someone they just met. Small talk is annoying and tedious but sometimes it's a much-needed entry point. Meet some cool people, get their contact info, and then message them later with some big questions.
Jul 20, 2024
Related Recs
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this might not all apply to you, but sometimes if I overthink social interactions in general, I end up missing out on what could have been a really good conversation. I usually like to ask myself what I’m genuinely curious about/want to know about a specific person and let my questions lead into a more fruitful discussion. worst case scenario is that don’t take the bait and then the conversation ends, but most of the time I find people like talking about themselves, which can lead to something y’all have in common.
I also don’t put pressure on myself to “make a friend” after one interaction. some people require crumbs of interactions before they start to let you in!
Mar 27, 2024
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When I list the things that are off bounds for a first time interaction, I then realize the sheer amount of things that are in bounds! I sort of have 3 big no-no's for first time convos, and you can decide for yourself if these feel right for you:
- party politics [I leave other kinds of politics in as fair game: class warfare or the rise of fascism or the opportunity for anarchic community building, etc.]
- religion
- personal finances
there are probably others, but those are the big 3 imo.
from there, I like to ask lots of how questions:
- how did you feel when you discovered your latest favorite song? can you pinpoint why it made you feel that way?
- how did you meet the host?
- how did you get into that hobby/line of work/subculture?
- how do you find joy/inspiration/motivation in your daily life?
- how do you like to dance?
- how good is this coors/pabst/french onion dip/potato chip/music/etc?
- how long has it been since your last speeding ticket?
- how long do you think you could last without eating a potato?
etc.
you could also ask any of the fun questions that perfectlyimperfect asks:
- fave things to put on toast
- your go-to email signature
- unique staple in your fridge
BUT TRULY!!! spencerto is right: don't over do it!
Jul 20, 2024
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The key to mingling with strangers! People need to do this more in social settings!
Feb 3, 2024
Top Recs from @spencerto
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One of the few apps with no ephemeral "story" feature or whatever so you don't need to check it every 24 hours. Cherish this.
Mar 6, 2024
It's just like John Swartzwelder said:
"Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day, if possible […] Then the next day, when I get up, the script’s been written. It’s lousy, but it’s a script. The hard part is done."
Jul 2, 2024
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Maybe some kettle cooked chips as well… on a paper plate… now we're talking
Aug 19, 2024