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Tired of running into your best friend at game nights and birthday parties of your mutual friends only to be reminded that you don't make enough time to see each other one-on-one? Invest in a high maintenance ritualized activity together that you MUST do regularly -- for me and my best friend this consists of biweekly gel manicure fills followed by a trip to our favorite diner. Even if we let the gels grow out embarrassingly long, we know we have to go back to fix them one way or the other so this helps motivate us to clear our mutually busy schedules. We're so full after the diner that whatever tasks we would have attempted to complete that day are relegated to some abstract future weekend as we are forced to go back to one of our apartments and digest together. Plus the manicures help us with our BFRB symptoms that focus on our nails and cuticles. :')
Note: If you know of equally high maintenance but less expensive rituals that have a similar sense of time-sensitivity we are all ears.
Apr 1, 2024
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I love basing my friendships around things I like to do, and having an allocated person to do that with, also having a process / routine that this thing happens around. Like a tiny religious procession of two.
E.g. : one friend is my coffee and a walk friend, another is a person I only exclusively hang out with to eat tacos once a month, a third friend to only go to cinema screenings with, another friend will join me for exercise classes and we usually get dinner afterwards.
I like this approach to friendship in general because it’s less pressure to have to come up with new things to do, and if you stagger time well then you always have things to do and people to see.
Aug 20, 2024
Make it a not too strict rotation - people will appreciate that you r the one that feathers their bed in a smooth way (not financially but emotionally) + you will be the one that has all the infos in your friends group at all times. But never make it a must or see the bad in people if they are not capable of putting the same effort/time in it vice versa atm.Â
(In the long run this rec, I’m pretty sure, feathers your own bed - give it a try and start a hotline bling on ya homiezzzz 📞 :))
Apr 16, 2024
Think: driving them to the airport during rush hour, moving furniture on a summer day, (in my case, see photo) cutting away at their badly overgrown garden when you are not a gardening gal. Or painting their bedroom on a whim, replacing their windshield fluid, or wrangling their demon cat for a trip to the vet.
I read a Manrepeller article (RIP) years ago that talked about how helping friends with these tedious, unrewarding tasks is where the real work of friendship begins. You don’t get so see how they get frustrated over brunch, but you do when you’re both unsuccessfully dragging a couch around a staircase corner, and getting To bond and troubleshoot that frustration opens whole new doors for closeness. This wisdom has never led me astray! I almost always leave these kinds of labor-based hangouts feeling closer and more held in friendship!
Apr 6, 2024
Top Recs from @bumbythefool
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I’m sick of feeling powerless so my new coping strategy is to not let a stupid system bully me into quiet despair. I’m learning how to use my state’s General Assembly’s online bill tracker and I’m subscribing to email updates for the agendas and the public hearings of the legislative committees I’m most concerned about. I’m memorizing all my legislators‘ names and emailing and calling regularly.
Also: Check to see if your state’s Legislative Library has Libguides that explain in layman’s terms what bills are passing in your state and other educational/legislative resources you have freely available to you!!!
Nov 20, 2024
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I’m up in my bank account every week writing every transaction out in a spreadsheet and I’ve never been better with money in my whole life. Also helped me notice asap when a whole mess of fraudulent transactions slipped in while I was occupied moving and otherwise wouldn’t have seen them for a while. It’s absolutely more effective than a Mint budget tracker because you have to confront EVERY purchase and contemplate what actually has value to you.
Jan 6, 2025
This dorky looking thing which was apparently distributed by Starbucks in some bygone era is a surprisingly delightful folk rock playlist. Nick Drake is Track 2. Also featuring Joni Mitchell and Bob Dylan and so on. I got it for a quarter. Thank you Goodwill.
Dec 18, 2024