I was sitting on the steps to my house with my friend Evan. We were about 2 or 3. There were hundreds of ants on the sidewalk below us. Evan reached down and started smushing them. I turned to him and told him to stop: âHow would YOU feel if you were an ant and someone smushed YOU?â A patronizing lesson in empathy⌠Interestingly, I had open heart surgery around the same time and spent days in the hospital, but this memory is much more visceral. Love this question.
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When I see an ant in my house I kill it by squashing it with the tip of my finger. I don't believe it's necessary to preserve the life of such a lowly creature and feel no guilt about this. I wish I could say I felt powerful when I kill an ant but the feeling of domination is so fleeting that it barely even registers.
Jan 24, 2024
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during a fire drill in first grade, a jumping spider bit me. i wasnât doing a thing to him and i think what upsets me most is that he couldnât assess my vibes to know i wasnât a threat. i had a really mean teacher and i tried to tell her, but she angrily shushed me, as we werenât allowed to speak during fire drills. i accepted my fate and figured she would be sorry later.
i remember wistfully staring out the window as my mom drove me home, coming to terms with the end of my life. i didnât tell her, for fear of worrying her. i peacefully ate my final dinner when i got home (velveeta mac and cheese, which i hated then and i still do now. but again, i didnât want to complain as my mom would have a bigger issue at hand when she went to go wake me up in the morning.)
i went to bed without a fuss. said goodbye to my then two year old sister, took a look around my room and gave a sigh. this was it. and i went to bed knowing i had lived a long, good six years of life.
well, dear reader, i am here writing this 20
years later. so rest assured, i did survive. but i think my rational (?) thought in that moment helped me work through a lot of existential stuff at an early age. so i guess thatâs cool.
Jul 4, 2024
it was a lovely day outside and i wanted to eat my lunch sitting in the sun, until i broke out the beautiful delicious honey crisp apple. they descended on me and i had to admit defeat. five whole wasps on my apple. and then i went inside and there was yet another wasp trying to eat my pesto pasta. what did i do to deserve this
Sep 6, 2024
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you need an account but soo many treasures. old scanned newspapers - search for people, buildings, events of the past, etc. found out that my grandma apparently crashed into a parked cop car in NJ in the 50s lol. so many ridiculous vintage advertisements on each page too
Feb 4, 2024
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hear me outâŚi drink, but i donât want to have alcohol every day. yet most evenings after work i crave a cold bitter refreshing relaxing transition back into regular life. aka a beer. i realized that what iâm craving isnât even the buzz, just that ritual and the flavor i associate with it. soda is too sweet and hop water isnât harsh enough. this brand is by far the closest iâve found to the actual beer taste, though itâs not perfect. but totally suffices as an alternative 2 or 3 times a week.
Mar 28, 2024
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a very embarrassing questionâŚcan someone explain the like system? why are some stars black and others white or yellow? why are there some big ol single stars and some have several lil guys? what does it mean or does it mean nothing at all?? lol Iâm mortified to ask this but will feel unmoored until I understand
Feb 23, 2024