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it was a lovely day outside and i wanted to eat my lunch sitting in the sun, until i broke out the beautiful delicious honey crisp apple. they descended on me and i had to admit defeat. five whole wasps on my apple. and then i went inside and there was yet another wasp trying to eat my pesto pasta. what did i do to deserve this
Sep 6, 2024
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I was sitting on the steps to my house with my friend Evan. We were about 2 or 3. There were hundreds of ants on the sidewalk below us. Evan reached down and started smushing them. I turned to him and told him to stop: “How would YOU feel if you were an ant and someone smushed YOU?” A patronizing lesson in empathy… Interestingly, I had open heart surgery around the same time and spent days in the hospital, but this memory is much more visceral. Love this question.
Apr 2, 2024
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my apartment has a bit of a c*ckroach problem that maintenance is not very proactive about. i hate those sumbitches so much. it feels like my home is being invaded every time one of them crawls out from under the fridge.
i employed raid spray on one such invader for the first time the other day and while i’m not typically someone with a proclivity for the morbid, i loved watching that creepy crawly critter die immediately. i didn‘t have to catch it, i didn‘t have to smoosh it, i just sprayed, *carrie bradshaw voice* AND JUST LIKE THAT, it went from insect to extinct. i was tempted to stake its head on a toothpick and place it in front of my door to warn other aspiring intruders like they did in the middle ages, but i’m hoping the smell of the spray will ward them off.
Jan 17, 2025
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Do you ever wonder that if a bug lands on you and you, a souless specimen, swats it away, did you ever stop and think maybe it’s just having a bad day and it’s love language is physical touch. No I bet you didn’t think of that you Paul ..!!!!!!!!!!!
Feb 22, 2024
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Jan 20, 2025
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i love a person with teeth like a half transformed werewolf
Jul 9, 2024
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i’m needing to remind myself that being odd and dressing uniquely is not a bad thing. going back to university and not knowing anyone in my classes while also showing up in a full tweed suit or a tetris cardigan or a long brocade jacket is okay. don’t let the uniqueness leave you just because people give you strange looks.
be more like the girl that dresses in head to toe lolita coords every day. or the guy that came to class dressed as soulja boy for no particular reason. get weird with it!!
Sep 2, 2024