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I’ve had a lot of big ideas in my head lately that all sound great in theory, but thinking about what I have to do to finish them is building up dispiriting feelings. Realizing that I’ve used those feelings in the past as an excuse to not have to try, so for the rest of the year, I’m reminding myself to see things through regardless of the outcome.
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I’ve been thinking about this a lot regarding my plan to purge/organize my home, because the way I used to do projects like this just doesn’t work anymore. I can no longer wait until I have the energy, then do as much as I can in one go. I do not have the gift of uninterrupted time anymore. Instead, I’ve had to adjust to a more slow and steady way of working. I choose *one* space to work on each day. Often times it ends up being one drawer, or corner, or step in the process.
Logically this is great and the best way to meet my goals. Mentally/emotionally I kid of hate it because it’s not how I’ve worked for my entire life. I have big ideas and want to do them right now!!!! But, when is growth or change ever without a bit of uncomfortability or pain?
So, I am actively changing my mindset. I speak positively to myself about the one small thing I did that day. I share that one small thing with my husband and friends. Because in actuality if it was so easy for me to do, I would’ve done it before. So my effort deserves some recognition!! Positive reinforcement, even when it’s to our own selves, can carry us a long way 🫶
Jan 13, 2025
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This might not necessarily apply to your situation, but I figured I’d share my thoughts anyway.
Often I think we buy into narratives we impose on ourselves about what will make us truly happy or content. People spend a lot of their lives chasing some lofty goal, often at great personal cost, both mental and physical. And once they get there, the result might not even be that great. There might be some complications that were never considered. Or, the day-to-day reality of the dream made manifest isn’t as glamourous or fulfilling as we thought it would be.
I’m not saying you need to disregard your aspirations. But I think it’s good to have an open mind about potential futures, even beyond what you see as being immediately fulfilling, or the “truest” version of yourself. I know it’s hard in our world to conceive of our self-worth outside of what we spend a great deal of our time doing. At the same time, I think it’s possible to strike a balance between what we think we want and what ends up making us happy.
Hope that makes sense.
Nov 7, 2024
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feels very trite and toxic positivity-y but (at least for me) i think the problem is feeling pulled in too many different directions with not enough capacity / agency to make meaningful progress in any / all of them; that’s when acedia, anhedonia, et al set in
the solution is to just pick one thing that’s easy, and constantly address it. then do that with another thing. maybe a bigger thing after that. and so on until you’ve re-built (or in my case, built for the first time) trust in yourself that the things you want to, need to, and are capable of doing you will / are doing
throughput is really important, seeing the fruits of your labor is the only reason to keep planting seeds so you just gotta start with stuff that will gratify you enough to keep going (also for me, getting diagnosed + medicated + effective talk therapy-d were all instrumental to this realization / process if that’s something you can / want to look into)
Mar 21, 2024
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Remote, cucumber, bag of chips, house keys. Not sure they get anything out of it, but they just seem happy to be kept in the loop.
Feb 24, 2024
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It bums me out whenever someone's trying to say something but cuts themselves off or says "nevermind" because they assume that they're wasting time. Think it through, or let it come back to you. 3 years ago, I started saying, "Talk through the thought" with my friend, and I think it's made me more patient, and I've ended up hearing/saying some cool shit (or at least some funny shit) that I would've probably missed out on otherwise.
Feb 23, 2024
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Sometimes what’s understood still needs to be said
Apr 10, 2024