and fumbled attempting to chase others. I regret sometimes that I missed out on so many normal common experiences and think that maybe if I had engaged in them I could be normal but then I wouldn’t be the person I am.
I will say and this is controversial and you can stone me in the public square for saying it if you want… I recognize and respect their importance in people’s cultures and that they mean something to others but I don’t care about weddings FOR ME personally.
I didn’t grow up dreaming of my perfect wedding day and the idea of hosting an event dedicated solely to myself and my betrothed where we’re the center of attention makes me feel mortified. I don’t need to declare my love in front of everyone.
Also the concept that your wedding is the best day of your life instead of every day that you get to be with your spouse and the memories you make together thereafter is depressing to me. But I’m pragmatic and not one to romanticize things…
Apr 17, 2024
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I’m not American soo I’ve never been to one but the idea of a wedding rehearsal is deeply unsettling to me.
Saw a photo from one on insta, googled it and WHAT people practice the ceremony and the vows with all the guests?!… pls tell me Im missing something…
A wedding ceremony should be reverent and mysterious… The idea of going through the motions, breaking it down to the sum of its parts, acting out a ritual! and all driven by this micromanaging operational instinct feels so wrong…. like you’re performing a curse…. That’s some doppelgänger, mirror-image, uncanny devilish shit
Oct 18, 2024
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If you're gonna get married, you gotta have skin in the game. None of this "the couple shared their vows privately before the ceremony" BS. it's supposed to be scary! it's supposed to be vulnerable! it's supposed to bring all the people you invited into your relationship, if only for a moment! and even though i've never gotten married, i've got to imagine that you would feel incredibly close to your partner after both baring your hearts and souls before a room full of people. what a thing to do together!
plus, as a wedding attendee, the reception is always way more fun when everyone's got serotonin coursing through their brains from watching you say really beautiful stuff. a far more important aspect of a good wedding than the hors d'oeurves.
Jan 26, 2024
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maybe they are a necessary evil, maybe I am just bitter
Jun 6, 2024
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My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ✅💅
Feb 27, 2025
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
— Anaïs Nin
This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share.
I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice.
I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see.
I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay!
Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible.
I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom.
Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me 💌
23h ago