and fumbled attempting to chase others. I regret sometimes that I missed out on so many normal common experiences and think that maybe if I had engaged in them I could be normal but then I wouldn’t be the person I am. I will say and this is controversial and you can stone me in the public square for saying it if you want… I recognize and respect their importance in people’s cultures and that they mean something to others but I don’t care about weddings FOR ME personally. I didn’t grow up dreaming of my perfect wedding day and the idea of hosting an event dedicated solely to myself and my betrothed where we’re the center of attention makes me feel mortified. I don’t need to declare my love in front of everyone. Also the concept that your wedding is the best day of your life instead of every day that you get to be with your spouse and the memories you make together thereafter is depressing to me. But I’m pragmatic and not one to romanticize things…
Apr 17, 2024

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I’m not American soo I’ve never been to one but the idea of a wedding rehearsal is deeply unsettling to me. Saw a photo from one on insta, googled it and WHAT people practice the ceremony and the vows with all the guests?!… pls tell me Im missing something… A wedding ceremony should be reverent and mysterious… The idea of going through the motions, breaking it down to the sum of its parts, acting out a ritual! and all driven by this micromanaging operational instinct feels so wrong…. like you’re performing a curse…. That’s some doppelgänger, mirror-image, uncanny devilish shit
Oct 18, 2024
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If you're gonna get married, you gotta have skin in the game. None of this "the couple shared their vows privately before the ceremony" BS. it's supposed to be scary! it's supposed to be vulnerable! it's supposed to bring all the people you invited into your relationship, if only for a moment! and even though i've never gotten married, i've got to imagine that you would feel incredibly close to your partner after both baring your hearts and souls before a room full of people. what a thing to do together! plus, as a wedding attendee, the reception is always way more fun when everyone's got serotonin coursing through their brains from watching you say really beautiful stuff. a far more important aspect of a good wedding than the hors d'oeurves.
Jan 26, 2024
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maybe they are a necessary evil, maybe I am just bitter
Jun 6, 2024

Top Recs from @taterhole

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My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌
Feb 23, 2025
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I’ve been thinking about how much of social media is centered around curating our self-image. When selfies first became popular, they were dismissed as vain and vapid—a critique often rooted in misogyny—but now, the way we craft our online selves feels more like creating monuments. We try to signal our individuality, hoping to be seen and understood, but ironically, I think this widens the gap between how others perceive us and who we really are. Instead of fostering connection, it can invite projection and misinterpretation—preconceived notions, prefab labels, and stereotypes. Worse, individuality has become branded and commodified, reducing our identities to products for others to consume. On most platforms, validation often comes from how well you can curate and present your image—selfies, aesthetic branding, and lifestyle content tend to dominate. High engagement is tied to visibility, not necessarily depth or substance. But I think spaces like PI.FYI show that there’s another way: where connection is built on shared ideas, tastes, and interests rather than surface-level content. It’s refreshing to be part of a community that values thoughts over optics. By sharing so few images of myself, I’ve found that it gives others room to focus on my ideas and voice. When I do share an image, it feels intentional—something that contributes to the story I want to tell rather than defining it. Sharing less allows me to express who I am beyond appearance. For women, especially, sharing less can be a radical act in a world where the default is to objectify ourselves. It resists the pressure to center appearance, focusing instead on what truly matters: our thoughts, voices, and authenticity. I’ve posted a handful of pictures of myself in 2,500 posts because I care more about showing who I am than how I look. In trying to be seen, are we making it harder for others to truly know us? It’s a question worth considering.
Dec 27, 2024