This is so hard and different for everyone, Iām 2ish years post big break up and sometimes I feel consumed with thoughts about it all, other times itās out of my mind.
I suggest you fill your time!! I took up running, yoga, pottery, got a new job, got a cat, I try to travel, I date good amount even if I know Iām not ready for a BIG relationship I just want to keep meeting new people.
if You feel the need to talk about it but you canāt maybe try journaling or therapy? I write the worst poetry in the world whenever I canāt stop thinking of him and it gets me out of that cycle.
Love and life and heartbreak is hard and beautiful and shitty and fun!! if youāre still thinking about this person and relationship so long after, maybe you need to keep learning from it or maybe you need to cut yourself some slack!!
Mucho loveo
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i think what helps/is ābestā depends on the breakup and the timeline.
if itās like, three months and your main approach is still distraction that may make it harder in the long run. but in the first few weeks i think itās okay to just distract yourself! i also think what is helpful is a mix of distractions. so maybe at the worst moments watch a sitcom, but at other times it may be helpful to read or watch media about heartbreak.
itās nice to feel seen / see how others get thru it, even fictionally. i love to watch fleabag. 10 love poems and a song of despair and crush are two beautiful poetry collections.
a small āgirlsā/friends night at home can be nice because it will be both fun and youāll get an opportunity to talk things through with friends. + therapy is always another talking option, both in the cases of if the relationship wasnāt the best or if youāre just having a really hard time (which is valid!)
one of my heartbreaks was sorta a similar situation to yours (she got with the person she told me not to worry about right after!) so i want to say 1) i know the feeling sucks and iām so sorry! and 2) itās totally possible to get through this moment, and you will ā¤ļøāš©¹
i also wrote some advice on working thru heartbreak a while back! š©¹ space, music, journaling, hobbies https://www.pi.fyi/rec/clwha3jpj02x510qsyswdwxjg
Aug 8, 2024
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I like to remember that time is on your side, it will get easier as time goes by just for nature of it. So focusing on going through the day-to-day the best you can while being kind to yourself and letting the days past is what helped me.
Itās not easy, you have to go through the grief to come up on the other side.
But stick with the things that make your present more bearable and you WILL come up on the other side.
For me it was doing things for myself: listening to music, visiting close friends, cooking for myself, going on walks on nature, spending time alone and bored and finding new things I liked and enjoying my own company was life changing.
The loneliness is rough but it can be a great teacher (at least I like to think something had to come out of all that pain).
I guess it really depends on the break up the narratives you are telling yourself right now, but if you can be mindful about them, observe them, and let go of trying to understand and control everything they get less cruel. Right now you just need to survive and receive some kindness, later on you can build the story around it (Without the fog of the pain around it).
And for the love of god cut contact with them, their family and friends, at least for a while. rebuild yourself outside their zone of influence. Show vulnerability if you can, it can bring great support and lending ears, BE KIND TO YOURSELF (although have in mind sometimes over indulgence is not kind).
You will get through it, time is on your side.
Apr 18, 2024
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for me it has been helpful to frame it as getting through heartbreak rather than over - iāve felt it is more of a journey rather than having an identifiable threshold or fixed point of being āoverā the person. so - these are my main recommendations for things to do to get through the heartbreak:
this isnāt true for everyone, but for me and most people i know, one of the worst things for processing is being around the person a bit right afterāitās like making your emotional process and brain not be on the same pageāso space is probably the #1 thing i recommend as being useful to fully processing that youāre not together romantically.
music (also films/shows too) can help you feel seen and understoodāheartbreak is a unique type of hurt. i have like 3-4 playlists from different heartbreaks i have been thru lol!
journaling, to process your emotions solo, though sometimes adding a therapist is needed!
hobbies (solo or with friends) so you can find ways to do positive & engaging things in your increased spare time! spend some extra time being in love with yourself. ā¤ļøāš©¹
source: my personal misfortunes, trials, & tribulations in love
May 22, 2024
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Yeah severance is the best tv show on right now and I will watch it and discuss the nuances and the shots and coloring and the writing!! like Thatās art, thatās critiquing culture, thatās bringing something new to the table
I will ALSO sit my ass down with wine and popcorn and watch the new love is blind episodes(and love island this summer!!!) because tv can also serve the purpose of shutting my brain O-F-F !!
Feb 15, 2025
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You can always redownload it. If I keep opening Pinterest during work, just delete it for a while!! I can download it again.
Also we all know I mean Twitter and that I canāt go on it bc it will depress me .
Nov 7, 2024
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I like working out and when I leave a workout class and I feel sore and then I take an epsom salt bath and I get in bed and my body just feels like YEAH you USED ME TODAY YAY. I love that.
Feb 4, 2025