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1. it reminds you why youâre on this path and the light and hope that awaits you on the other side
2. it feels more satisfying than the, â5 tips to get over someoneâ articles due to the inexhaustible content
3. you could text him.. or you could seek out that dopamine hit youâll get when you read a random reddit comment from 5 years ago that validates you in just the right ways and renews your strength for just that little bit longer! no depressive crashes here
4. again.. the VALIDATION. there is nothing new under the sun and you will get through this
5. the horror stories will help you appreciate that things arenât worse than they are <3
6. youâre basically playing therapist and detective, stitching together overarching narratives you may have missed while in the thick of it, psychoanalyzing the reasons for this breakdown, and most importantly realizing just how needful this move was for both parties. it all helps in bringing a sense of peace
!!
Apr 22, 2024
Related Recs
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i think what helps/is âbestâ depends on the breakup and the timeline.
if itâs like, three months and your main approach is still distraction that may make it harder in the long run. but in the first few weeks i think itâs okay to just distract yourself! i also think what is helpful is a mix of distractions. so maybe at the worst moments watch a sitcom, but at other times it may be helpful to read or watch media about heartbreak.
itâs nice to feel seen / see how others get thru it, even fictionally. i love to watch fleabag. 10 love poems and a song of despair and crush are two beautiful poetry collections.
a small âgirlsâ/friends night at home can be nice because it will be both fun and youâll get an opportunity to talk things through with friends. + therapy is always another talking option, both in the cases of if the relationship wasnât the best or if youâre just having a really hard time (which is valid!)
one of my heartbreaks was sorta a similar situation to yours (she got with the person she told me not to worry about right after!) so i want to say 1) i know the feeling sucks and iâm so sorry! and 2) itâs totally possible to get through this moment, and you will â€ïžâđ©č
i also wrote some advice on working thru heartbreak a while back! đ©č space, music, journaling, hobbies https://www.pi.fyi/rec/clwha3jpj02x510qsyswdwxjg
Aug 8, 2024
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for me it has been helpful to frame it as getting through heartbreak rather than over - iâve felt it is more of a journey rather than having an identifiable threshold or fixed point of being âoverâ the person. so - these are my main recommendations for things to do to get through the heartbreak:
this isnât true for everyone, but for me and most people i know, one of the worst things for processing is being around the person a bit right afterâitâs like making your emotional process and brain not be on the same pageâso space is probably the #1 thing i recommend as being useful to fully processing that youâre not together romantically.
music (also films/shows too) can help you feel seen and understoodâheartbreak is a unique type of hurt. i have like 3-4 playlists from different heartbreaks i have been thru lol!
journaling, to process your emotions solo, though sometimes adding a therapist is needed!
hobbies (solo or with friends) so you can find ways to do positive & engaging things in your increased spare time! spend some extra time being in love with yourself. â€ïžâđ©č
source: my personal misfortunes, trials, & tribulations in love
May 22, 2024
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I like to remember that time is on your side, it will get easier as time goes by just for nature of it. So focusing on going through the day-to-day the best you can while being kind to yourself and letting the days past is what helped me.
Itâs not easy, you have to go through the grief to come up on the other side.
But stick with the things that make your present more bearable and you WILL come up on the other side.
For me it was doing things for myself: listening to music, visiting close friends, cooking for myself, going on walks on nature, spending time alone and bored and finding new things I liked and enjoying my own company was life changing.
The loneliness is rough but it can be a great teacher (at least I like to think something had to come out of all that pain).
I guess it really depends on the break up the narratives you are telling yourself right now, but if you can be mindful about them, observe them, and let go of trying to understand and control everything they get less cruel. Right now you just need to survive and receive some kindness, later on you can build the story around it (Without the fog of the pain around it).
And for the love of god cut contact with them, their family and friends, at least for a while. rebuild yourself outside their zone of influence. Show vulnerability if you can, it can bring great support and lending ears, BE KIND TO YOURSELF (although have in mind sometimes over indulgence is not kind).
You will get through it, time is on your side.
Apr 18, 2024
Top Recs from @shooting_star
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for like 5 minutes, it helps, promise! you can wash ur hands right after and youâll find it wasnât the end of the world when you got a little dirty for those 5 minutes, as uncomfortable as it was. and for all the discomfort, your brain switched off and you could just be with the old, familiar sensations of your youth. get lost in it!
Apr 23, 2024
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youâre familiar with hellmannâs, youâve obsessed over kewpie but have you tried dutch mayo? i truly believe it would sway the staunchest of haterâs hearts into the loving arms of mayonnaise. so tangy, so sweet, so delicious. like i would have it as the sole condiment on my fries type good!
calvé is my go-to brand! zaanse & remia are other well known brands!
Apr 22, 2024
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there are truly so many flawless combos but rn i am craving a dill-y, chive-y, zingy, tuna sando with crisp celery and red onion, garlic dutch mayo, mustard on like a bed of lettuce OR skip the lettuce and make it a melt with some cheese on top.. all sandwiched by any soft but sturdy bread you can find !
Apr 22, 2024