i think what helps/is ābestā depends on the breakup and the timeline.
if itās like, three months and your main approach is still distraction that may make it harder in the long run. but in the first few weeks i think itās okay to just distract yourself! i also think what is helpful is a mix of distractions. so maybe at the worst moments watch a sitcom, but at other times it may be helpful to read or watch media about heartbreak.
itās nice to feel seen / see how others get thru it, even fictionally. i love to watch fleabag. 10 love poems and a song of despair and crush are two beautiful poetry collections.
a small āgirlsā/friends night at home can be nice because it will be both fun and youāll get an opportunity to talk things through with friends. + therapy is always another talking option, both in the cases of if the relationship wasnāt the best or if youāre just having a really hard time (which is valid!)
one of my heartbreaks was sorta a similar situation to yours (she got with the person she told me not to worry about right after!) so i want to say 1) i know the feeling sucks and iām so sorry! and 2) itās totally possible to get through this moment, and you will ā¤ļøāš©¹
i also wrote some advice on working thru heartbreak a while back! š©¹ space, music, journaling, hobbies https://www.pi.fyi/rec/clwha3jpj02x510qsyswdwxjg
Aug 8, 2024
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for me it has been helpful to frame it as getting through heartbreak rather than over - iāve felt it is more of a journey rather than having an identifiable threshold or fixed point of being āoverā the person. so - these are my main recommendations for things to do to get through the heartbreak:
this isnāt true for everyone, but for me and most people i know, one of the worst things for processing is being around the person a bit right afterāitās like making your emotional process and brain not be on the same pageāso space is probably the #1 thing i recommend as being useful to fully processing that youāre not together romantically.
music (also films/shows too) can help you feel seen and understoodāheartbreak is a unique type of hurt. i have like 3-4 playlists from different heartbreaks i have been thru lol!
journaling, to process your emotions solo, though sometimes adding a therapist is needed!
hobbies (solo or with friends) so you can find ways to do positive & engaging things in your increased spare time! spend some extra time being in love with yourself. ā¤ļøāš©¹
source: my personal misfortunes, trials, & tribulations in love
May 22, 2024
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This is so hard and different for everyone, Iām 2ish years post big break up and sometimes I feel consumed with thoughts about it all, other times itās out of my mind.
I suggest you fill your time!! I took up running, yoga, pottery, got a new job, got a cat, I try to travel, I date good amount even if I know Iām not ready for a BIG relationship I just want to keep meeting new people.
if You feel the need to talk about it but you canāt maybe try journaling or therapy? I write the worst poetry in the world whenever I canāt stop thinking of him and it gets me out of that cycle.
Love and life and heartbreak is hard and beautiful and shitty and fun!! if youāre still thinking about this person and relationship so long after, maybe you need to keep learning from it or maybe you need to cut yourself some slack!!
Mucho loveo
Oct 7, 2024
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Start a long binge worthy show, watch that and distract yourself.
I do believe in the fact that you gotta go through it somehow but distracting yourself is not running away from your problems if you are at a safe space like your own home where you can weep and cry freely.
Definitely talk to some casual friends that you very rarely see about the breakup. I know that might seem odd but talking to people I rarely see rather than my best friends that I see very often helped me keep their name out of my mouth and that helped keep them out of my mind.
Go to new places, discover. Adventure out alone and cry at different places, you are going to be sad no matter what, why not change the scenery.
I chose to distract myself most of the time in order to avoid getting depressed so I laid off the sad music and listened to podcasts for a while. I recommend Emergency Intercom!!
And if you want, pick up tennis or some other physical activity that you can channel your anger and feelings through.
Aug 21, 2024
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being traditionally cool is really quite boring and iterative, and itās actually very cool and sexy to geek out about something you like or share bits of knowledge on a topic youāre passionate about
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i had it for a little over a year until i was like wow this is actually terrible! i genuinely think it has negatively impacted society by ruining peopleās attention spans, having a horrific algorithm, and most of all by the most mind-numbing or outright harmful trends -
fake words that people now use IRL (āunaliveā), trad wife tiktok, shein hauls, body-focused fitness vids that encourage fatphobia and unhealthy habits, shallow political/feminist theory and queer discourse, āalpha maleā podcaster tiktok, encouraging overconsumption in general, trends ruining local spots or niche thingsā¦ the list goes on
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a million times cooler than the lackluster āsleekā tech color palette used today
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