Related Recs

📲

You know it’s kind of hard

I left all social media for something like five years and only posted on a small insular abandoned app during that time and that was the main way I communicated with people. After feeling repeatedly hurt and misunderstood and wondering why it was so hard to build earnest connections through this medium I decided to leave. I realized that constantly narrativizing my life with no filter gave me no space to process or examine and kept me trapped in deeply baked-in stories in my head. Anyway I’ve maintained contact with a small handful of my closest friends and it has honestly been somewhat difficult keeping in touch to the same degree as I did before about everyone’s day to day lives. I think the hardest part is being the odd one out so you’re missing out on the tidbits they share in this one centralized place for the purpose of economy and time and that’s something you kind of just have to accept. There’s a certain level of meticulous detail that may be lost to you and I think interactions become more of a broad big-picture thing; not being so bogged down in the mundanity allows you to engage with more distance and perspective which can lead to greater depth and emotional honesty. And then it’s funny because the communication you’re engaging in becomes so direct that rather than everything being so uniform and kind of tossed out there, everything has to be very intentional and personal. You have to choose to reach out, again and again; you also have to choose when to give people space. You have to be very conscious of the balance between giving and taking because everything isn’t just being offered all at once indirectly on both sides—and this balance won’t always be perfect and sometimes you might not handle it in the most perfect way. I decided at the beginning of the year that intentionality would be my main theme and I’m still working on it. So I don’t really have the answers but engaging with friends off of social media shapes everything in new and interesting ways and those are some thoughts I’ve had as I begin to navigate this…

@taterhole

Feb 24, 2025

🌌

SOLITUDE

You have to force yourself to tackle the hard thing, whatever that means to you. Because the more difficult thing, it’s probably the right thing, or the thing your life needs. I think for me, the hard thing was to submerge myself into genuine solitude. And I’m not talking about like, My Year of Rest and Relaxation or Leaving Las Vegas type solitude… And I am definitely not talking about anything related to the type of seclusion that came with quarantine. The objective here isn’t to isolate yourself to the point of total deterioration or to reject the people who love you. It’s about stomaching the feelings of loneliness that come with deep personal reflection. It’s about enduring the self-imposed boredom that comes with getting to know yourself without any external influence. It’s not about being physically alone (though it is a part of it), it’s just about finding ways to be alone with yourself and who you are, the good and the bad, and really admitting to the bad. And then, what was at first so uncomfortable and sort of embarrassing to undertake will eventually become easy-normal. Everything outside of your solitude becomes so peripheral it’s hard to remember when you existed right in the center of it all. And some people, the ones who really do buy into their socio-infallibility, will probably, yeah, consider you some misanthropic outcast! But, what my friend and I like to joke about as being misanthropy is actually just self-awareness and conviction, and belief in the improvability of everything that is or can be wrong with oneself or others... The world feels constantly disappointing, and people are disappointing, and you’re disappointing, and I am definitely disappointing… But all of that can be improved upon and then improved even more, and more and more… But you can’t improve anything about yourself until you know what it is that needs improving. And even then, knowing is only the first step, knowing doesn’t mean anything if you don’t do something about it. So if any of this applies to you, maybe think about it, do something about it. Leave, find solitude, change what needs to be changed, even if it’s really, really, hard to do that. And most importantly… embrace your cynicism in positive ways instead of in ways that honestly just fucking suck!

@blu-hunt

Oct 13, 2022

🤔

Some things to consider

Something to think about is why you might not feel a deep connection to anyone. For me, it’s because I don’t do enough to meet new people and because I don’t feel comfortable sharing with people I do know. I make a lot of jokes and keep things on a surface level. And of course there are psychological reasons for that. Does everything have to be meaningful? Not at all! I think there are a lot of posts here about deep, meaningful feelings, but those posts aren’t so different from people staging photos and using filters on instagram. people choose how they want to present themselves on the internet. I, for one, wouldn’t tell anyone in person the things I’m writing to you! So don’t compare yourself to others, especially online representations of others! But, do try to meet new people and do things you enjoy. You only can find “your people” if you actively look for them.

@bee1000

Jan 25, 2025

Top Recs from @bluz

⏳

your 20s are for figuring it out

Whatever life you envisioned for yourself, your 20s are when you find out if it’s viable—or what you really want. Money and time matter way more (in my experience), and your friends live further away. You get to do whatever you want, which is amazing and awful. Expect to hear about peers working their dream jobs while living in inhumane conditions, discovering lifelong passions and quitting their ambitions, and re-making all the choices that seemed permanent at the time. Maybe by 35-40 you can expect consistency, but in the next twenty years your peers will go through a lot and change even more. Just remember that only having a kid and back issues are forever. When in doubt, find a mentor or a role model. Focus on the present if you can, and journal if you can find the time—it helps. Leaving you w/ this pic of sand—a symbol of the passage of time which is most beautiful when observed closely.

@bluz

Apr 27, 2024

😃

living in present tense

This morning I brought my car to the mechanic first thing. Didn’t have anywhere to be for the rest of the day, so challenged myself to enjoy a slow walk home—could have been 40 min, ultimately took 4 hours. I stopped to smell my neighbors‘ flowers, to buy a new pencil at the art store, and to read in a park for a while (big shoutout to the Libby app and city parks). I‘ve been talking to a therapist about how I wake up every morning worried about whatever I have scheduled, and tend to ruminate on failures towards the end of the day. Today I didn’t dwell on the future or the past, just lived in the present. 10/10 experience.

@bluz

May 10, 2024

🟢

I envy everyone

Life is fucking confusing, and every want comes with a doubt. As far as I can tell, your 20s (I’m 27) are about cobbling together a life while wondering if you should blow it all up. And then someday, hopefully, you fall in love with yourself (or something) and that love becomes a foundation for everything else. I know people who have built things up and torn them down, people who have made irrevocable choices, people who are coasting. I want all of their lives, sometimes, because I’m sick of the choices I made. I think that’s just fear of commitment, and not taking good care of myself—but who knows, maybe I’m about to make some choices for the plot. The people who seem to have it all figured out may be crumbling beneath the surface (me irl). The ones I trust the most know how to look around and say “there but for the grace of god go I.” You‘re never too old to let whatever you’ve been collecting slip through your fingers and choose again.

@bluz

Jul 11, 2024