This morning I brought my car to the mechanic first thing. Didnât have anywhere to be for the rest of the day, so challenged myself to enjoy a slow walk homeâcould have been 40 min, ultimately took 4 hours.
I stopped to smell my neighborsâ flowers, to buy a new pencil at the art store, and to read in a park for a while (big shoutout to the Libby app and city parks). Iâve been talking to a therapist about how I wake up every morning worried about whatever I have scheduled, and tend to ruminate on failures towards the end of the day. Today I didnât dwell on the future or the past, just lived in the present.
10/10 experience.
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That freshly-showered feeling, chuckling to yourself when something weird happens, marveling at the colors of fresh produce at the grocery store, the rhythmic sounds of morning traffic ~~ livin your life like an ephemeral novel youâre writing and rewriting in your head
Jan 6, 2025
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This morning, I went on my Sunday coffee walk. Unlike other mornings, I left my headphones at home. No music. No podcasts. I just listened to the world around me. I walked much slower than normal, so that each step was a gentle kiss on the earth below me, and I counted my steps for each breath in and each breath out.
At one point on my walk, I heard a little sound. I thought maybe it was a squirrel. I stopped walking and looked up, and hanging upside-down above me was a woodpecker! I just stood there for a few moments and watched as they moved and tapped against the branch. It was lovely, and I wouldâve missed out on that experience had I been listening to a podcast.
Feb 23, 2025
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If you can do this, every day is filled with moments that fill you with joy and wonder. This already happened to me like eight times today, starting with my perfect smoothie (other moments included seeing a squirrel, walking past these cool flowers that look like fried eggs, and smelling the new perfume samples I ordered). Itâs pretty easy, just go stand outside and look at something beautiful. There are gorgeous things everywhere. If youâre having trouble connecting with this, which I do sometimes because Iâm not a lobotomized freak and also because life can truly beat you down, just take like 1-2 grams of mushrooms like two hours before sunset and then go on a super long walk with great music in your headphones and I promise youâll remember how fucking cool it is just to get to be alive.
Oct 20, 2023
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From the Atlantic: âThere is no statistical record of any other period in U.S. history when people have spent more time on their own.â
I donât know anything about youâhow funny is that? I couldnât even begin to guess what your life looks like. I couldnât spot you in a crowd. If I were a friend, Iâm sure I could give better advice. Perhaps suggest joining a local group  I know of, or a class at the gym that always puts me in a good mood. Perhaps introduce you to someone Iâve always thought youâd get along with.Â
The beautiful thing about the internet is that you can ask this question to the void and the void speaks back. Itâs so much easier this way, but so much worse.Â
Geography, family, shared interests, shared labor. Community used to be inescapable. We still depend on each other for everything, but we do it all at a distance. Iâll chat for an hour with a friend across the country, but I know nothing about the people across the street. Itâs a selling point if the grocer can name the farmer who grew your food. I could have been writing this to send to a distant family member, who I want to reconnect with, or an old friendâinstead Iâm writing to you, a stranger. Itâs easier. Our community ties have been broken.Â
So: what do you, an individual, do? You may find more success if you develop individual friendships tied to a placeâseveral articles about the loneliness epidemic talk about the gymâor a group that meets regularly. Apparently, the best way to beak down peoplesâ walls is just to see them constantly. This is true for new friends and for deepening relationships. For those friends and acquaintances youâd like to be closer to, keep inviting them to shit. Set your boundaries, but keep trying. The thing about people is that everybody is interesting and confusing and stupid and wise and mean and wonderfulâbut itâs safer to spill all that on the internet, where no one can spot you in a crowd. Let people know that youâre around and interested no matter what, and see what happens. It will take a long time, but itâll be worth it. Not just for you, but for them. For everyone, if we all put the effort in.Â
Iâm sorryâit shouldnât be this way. But we have to try. Weâre all counting on each other <3
Apr 23, 2024
Whatever life you envisioned for yourself, your 20s are when you find out if itâs viableâor what you really want. Money and time matter way more (in my experience), and your friends live further away. You get to do whatever you want, which is amazing and awful.
Expect to hear about peers working their dream jobs while living in inhumane conditions, discovering lifelong passions and quitting their ambitions, and re-making all the choices that seemed permanent at the time. Maybe by 35-40 you can expect consistency, but in the next twenty years your peers will go through a lot and change even more.
Just remember that only having a kid and back issues are forever. When in doubt, find a mentor or a role model. Focus on the present if you can, and journal if you can find the timeâit helps.
Leaving you w/ this pic of sandâa symbol of the passage of time which is most beautiful when observed closely.
Apr 27, 2024
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Life is fucking confusing, and every want comes with a doubt.
As far as I can tell, your 20s (Iâm 27) are about cobbling together a life while wondering if you should blow it all up. And then someday, hopefully, you fall in love with yourself (or something) and that love becomes a foundation for everything else.
I know people who have built things up and torn them down, people who have made irrevocable choices, people who are coasting. I want all of their lives, sometimes, because Iâm sick of the choices I made. I think thatâs just fear of commitment, and not taking good care of myselfâbut who knows, maybe Iâm about to make some choices for the plot.
The people who seem to have it all figured out may be crumbling beneath the surface (me irl). The ones I trust the most know how to look around and say âthere but for the grace of god go I.â Youâre never too old to let whatever youâve been collecting slip through your fingers and choose again.
Jul 11, 2024