I think continually asking why you want something can help with this. When you do, you may realize the āitā you want is rooted in other people: how theyāll perceive you, if youāll be accepted by them, etc. The older Iāve gotten Iāve been better at untangling some of my desires from the ego and I think it has lead to better self-satisfaction of where I am at and where I am going. itās also allowed me to ālet goā of some dreams. Thatās sounds negative or sad but I donāt mean it so: sometimes you white-knuckle-grip an idea of yourself so hard that it destroys you! I think āletting goā doesnāt mean things wonāt happen, it means they donāt have to and that pressure alleviation can make all the difference.
Thatās not to say to never let the drive of the ego take overā¦Iām not sure we would create art/great things without it. I guess what Iām saying is that knowing the root of our desires is a key to balance and self-assuredness.