after what iāve done? not well. on a bed, but not centred - away from the roomās door. i have to sleep with 3 (or at least 2) pillows. one i actually sleep on, and two laid beside me in a vertical row. and i have to cover my entire body and face with the duvet, even if itās at the height of summer. canāt use a sheet as a cover bc itās just notā¦.substantial (i think i need a weighted blanket fr).
for bedtime rituals, the only thing i do before going to sleep is piss, and put my hair up. my sleep itself is very broken up bc of needing to get up and piss more lol, after which i canāt sleep again for a few hours, but then there are other times where i just sleep for 9 hours straight.
though problematic and potentially rlly unhealthy, i also canāt sleep without earphones on, listening to music or asmr.
Apr 26, 2024
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and if i donāt sleep in my own bed i will wake up with a headache! :)
i have a double bed (which is definitely a bit too big for the size of my room but its worth it), and i use 2 duvets. i have a fan next to my bed aimed directly at my face. i sleep on my side with my duvets wrapped around me like a cocoon. i usually have to listen to something to fall asleep (unless iām really exhausted) so iāll either listen to asmr or a podcast.
Apr 26, 2024
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Going to sleep is a whole ritual. Have to wait for the right point in a relationship to bring up my routine because it frightens/baffles them.
Basically I have to trick myself into sleeping because my brain is really alive at all times. No "invigorating" music half an hour before bed, sunset lamp on, double cleanse, moisturiser, eye cream, lip balm, hair oil, silk scrunchie, hand cream, brush teeth, electric blanket on full for ultimate tucking in cosiness then down to 70% for the rest of the night, take inhaler, giant t shirt on, scroll, watch ASMR/listen to guided meditation, three pillow v formation and body pillow, set three alarms, phone on do not disturb, eventually pass out from exhaustion. I have never known peace a day in my life.
Apr 26, 2024
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I clear my desk off and place every article of clothing I can into the hamper. Remove any food, plates, bowls, utensils, paper towels, garbage lining in your wastebin that may or may not have a week or two old clif bar wrapper inside of it. Anything food related in my sleeping space, even if Iāve not eaten & my stomach is totally empty and has been for hours or for the whole day or days on endā will inevitably signal to my digestive system that there is work to be done & that digestion must happen. I canāt sleep if Iām digesting. I also to sit on my couch with a pen & notebook & vomit or diarrhea whatever thoughts have been haranguing me over the evening onto page. If Iām digesting things in my brain especially I find it impossible to sleep.
Open a window, as many as possible to allow fresh air in. Turn on your fans: ceiling, desk, windowsill-mounted box fan, whatever you have. Circulate the air as much as possible. I cannot sleep in a stale bedroom. Have a glass of water at your bedside. If your situation is really hopeless, maybe even fashion a receptacle to urinate into so you donāt have to walk into the bathroom all bleary eyed in the middle of the night. Iāll admit that this is something that I myself donāt have the courage to do yet, but one day when Iām older & even less continent I doubt courage will have very little to do with it & I will piss right by my bedside before yawning & curling up back under my two duvets. Tao Lin recommends this.
Have a bedtime & even if itās hopeless & youre prone to tossing & turning all the way from 11 PM to 11 AM, stick to it. If I really canāt sleep, I resign myself to about an hour of wordy reading. Iāve been reading the first chapter of Freudās Interpretation of Dreams for the better part of 3 months now. That helps too.
I am a total stiff & stretching is a total ordeal for me (trying to stretch my hamstrings makes me as red in the face as running a 5K [this is probably cope on my end, and my reluctance to stretch is likely a testament to a deeper, psychological inflexibility that Iām not willing to tackle at this time]) , so much like urinating into a bedside jar, glass, or other such receptacle I canāt personally recommend it based off my āāāexperienceāāā but Iāve read that stretching does go a long way before bed.
Iāve heard good things about magnesium. I take glycine because it gives me wild dreams.
Aug 5, 2024
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articles, interviews, essays, zines etc etc, geared towards creatives, specifically on emotional and practical guidance. you can even download the articles as pdfs! (not paid afaik)
Apr 25, 2024
May 9, 2024
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iām not sure what area youāre studying/working on, and which is the basis of your essay - also, as a newbie who isnāt well-versed on the culture here - i guess iāll just say some random misc thoughts about my experience so far!
there is something about this interface, i.e. the fonts, the emojis, the formatting, the colours, etc, thatās all so incredibly nostalgic of early tech. it looks like an elevated version of the bare websites they had us build with html/css in ict class. it also feels like a more text- and community-based tumblr, another platform that i found a lot of comfort and joy being on. i donāt have the introspection or technical knowledge to pinpoint what exactly it is about PI, and similar platforms (like tumblr) that makes them safe and comforting/less stressful to use compared to others, so iād be interested in seeing whether this is something your essay will touch on, or define!
maybe itās because itās still new and with a smaller user base than Big SMā¢ļø sites, but the culture here doesnāt seem to care about how many followers you have, or in getting the highest amount of engagement on everything you post! itās an even playing field where everyone iāve seen is just enthusiastic, helpful and thoughtful in their recs or general comments. a small detail, but i also like that specific ālikeā numbers arenāt displayed - it (maybe unintentionally?) removes a lot of subliminal pressure to up that figure!
PI is a happy, unencumbered space that makes you feel like a (pre-)teen exploring early tech and social platforms again, except instead of it being a collection of people u know irl, itās basically a bunch of friends from all over. and thatās something thatās been sorely missed, or perhaps even erased, from the cultures of other social media sites. thereās so much individualism and criticism there, and when you donāt receive engagement, youāre basically talking to yourself bc the algorithm wonāt pick up your posts & have them show up for other people.
thereās always something so special and personal when social sites such as this are in their early days, when the people participating are still genuine in their pursuit on them. the people gravitating towards being here are probably looking for the same thing as well, so i hope for nothing more than for it to stay like this.
Apr 26, 2024