a girl from my school started dm-ing me on insta and since it was pretty tame stuff (like literally no signs she was into me) I was sure that she just wanted to be friends with me. she seemed pretty cool so I dm-ed her back and we talked for a couple days before she asked me if I wanted to catch a movie with her. I said yes. what was the movie you ask?
all of us strangers.
by that point, I was still somehow clueless. we met up, she hugged me, we walked to the theatre, we got snacks, we sat down, we watched the movie, it was all pretty normal friendly stuff. I even ended up crying (to be fair I'm not sure who wouldn't cry at that movie).
it was only after the fact that I was informed by our mutual friend that she was apparently into me and that was supposed to be a date. I ended up just asking to be friends and we haven't spoken since :,)
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it was the second. he bought us tickets to see parasite and was sooo excited that the amc seats reclined. it's literally why he chose that movie theater.
he even double-checked with the ticket girl that our theater would have reclining seats.
she told him the theater number had changed, and we no longer had those types of seats. he was heart broken and angry. we found our seats, put our stuff down, and then he said he was going to go back and ask the ticket girl why we no longer had the reclining seats theater. i did not join him.
then he answered his phone in the MIDDLE of the movie and talked for a few. it clearly wasn't an emergency. he even left for a few minutes to keep talking on the phone outside of the theater. when he came back, all he said was "what did i miss?" he never apologized for it.
i should have left when he took the call but alas i still got dinner with him after
Feb 19, 2024
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This morning I had a date for the first time in a million years and I was scared and hadnāt slept so I called my friend crying and together we talked whilst I got ready. We agreed that I would just do my best and accept whatever happened even if it was weird or embarrassing because itās fine to do things scared. Then I walked out the front door in my cute little outfit with my hair and makeup done like nothing whatsoever was wrong and I had that damn date and it was kinda stilted and he didnāt text me after but it was essentially fine šš»
Jan 12, 2025
Backstory: Im crushing so hard on a tattoo artist near my job and am delusionally convinced sheās my soulmate. We coincidentally have matching tattoos of the cover art for faces by mac miller high on the thigh. (for full story go look at my asks)
Update: aightā¦ went to the tattoo shopās 8th anniversary event just to kinda be present and participate in the art community in Puerto Rico bc Iām having trouble finding ppl I relate too and I think I can make friends w them. Didnāt rly get to chat with her much, she was being a little distant and I wasnāt going to corner her or anything. I ended up getting some flash that was super cool. after my tat was finished late that night I went for a walk to shake off the nerves of the pain n shit. Ended up getting a strange feeling to buy a bunch of ice creams for everyone in the tattoo shop party so I walked far as hell and bought like 20-30 ice creams from a 24hr bodega and came back to pass them out to everyone for free. Boom. wonderful success and made so many ppl smile. Now the shop owner n community know me and recognize my chill.
Additionally: I could not get this girl out of my head. Like I never rly date and I fr donāt like talking to girls. Im rly hyper-isolated but itās my own doing. But she Was driving me crazy. I ended up buying her the Book of Mac memoir and planned to give it to her as a gift/tip at our booked tattoo session. I had a feeling that sheād rly like it. But that wasnāt enough. I became manic and over the course of three sessions I made her a mac miller mix. Ive attached it for u all to listen. This mightāve been overkill and I was second guessing it the whole time but I did it anyway because Iām not a pussy.
Finally: get to the tat session and was greeted with a kiss on the cheek (polite and customary for Puerto Ricans but she was rly friendly about it and she initiated). When she finished setting up our station I sit down and pull out the book. Inside the book I had written to: (her name) from: (me) and a short quote from BMO (adventure time) because it kinda just felt right. tell her hey I got this for you, I think I have a crush on you idk, but yeah this is for you. Bruhā¦ she melted. She was like soooooooooooo happy. She had a mask on cuz she was sick but she said underneath she was blushing super hard.
we start the tattoo and I ask if I can just talk to her while she does it. Iām rly shy and not the best at convo but throughout the entire tattoo I just picked her brain to try and get to know her. Bruhā¦ we r so alike. Like mind blowingly alike. Talked about music and movies and clothes. But she was kinda dry and quick w her chatting. It took a while for her to warm up a bit and relax. Plus Iām funny so she was giggling after every other thing I said. Teased her a bit. Flirted a bit. But nothing too heavy. By the end of the tattoo session we were on aux together going back and forth w songs talking about why we like them n stuff. Like at this point I can tell weāre friends. Finally the tat is finished and itās great. Sheās an apprentice and not super experienced but it was exactly what I wanted. As we were saying our goodbyes she thanks me again for the book. I told her I had one more thing to give her but she had to give me her number firstā¦ she freaks out a little bit. I say no pressure obviously, but sheās like āyes pressureā Iām like what?? She gives me her number and gives me a super quick and tight hug. Idk how to describe it but it was like a shy, fast āI need to hug you before anyone seesā hug. as Iām walking out the shop I text her the link to the mix n head home.
I get home, she texts saying thanks for the mix that itās rly cool and thanks again for the book. and thenā¦. She tells me sheās dating someone š„“ and didnāt know how to tell me in person and froze when I asked for her number n if its alright if weāre just friends. I ate that punch, said hey no prob we can be friends, which is totally fine like I fr donāt mind, but the thing is I KNOW MY WHOLE SCHEME WORKED. Like the way she was reacting to me and how comfortable she got and how cool our convo was like I know she recognized how cool I was. And she told me I was rly cool like she texted saying she thinks im cool. So likeā¦ fuck. Idk. and She didnāt even say she has a boyfriend, she just said sheās dating someone so it doesnāt even sound serious. Idk what to do. She didnāt respond to my last text. so this is where we stand. I think I fucked her world up tho. No way sheās not thinking about me now.
What do yall think?
Jul 19, 2024
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something abt zoning out while staring at a lake just hits different
Apr 27, 2024
no idea what sparked this but i just had a random meltdown over baseball. the next note after this one was also abt baseball so i think i was just going thru something
Apr 18, 2024
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in: reading by the lake / nature walks / bird watching like a grandpa / hanging out with my mom more because shes awesome / gardening / blasting chappell roan / running / napping / photosynthesizing / pointing my fan directly at my face while i sleep / reading before bed
out: stressing over my future / sweating / people asking why i'm wearing jeans and sweaters in the summer / sticky fingers / tequila shots
Apr 16, 2024