In 2026 I had taken a bit of a pilgrimage to see the Ghent Altarpiece because I was obsessed with the van Eyck brothers. I saw it a few times. Then one morning I woke up very early to fly out from the Brussels airport.
It was 5:00 AM. I was so tired and it was so foggy and dreary. Especially near the cathedral where I was staying.
As I was waiting for the trolley to catch a train to the airport, I looked across the street and the most beautiful old woman was having breakfast. Her hair was a perfect streakless white and the juice in front of her was such a vivid orangeāalmost red. I stared, and was caught in the moment for just a few seconds too long. I missed my train, was delayed, and had to wait for the next one.
As I finally approached the station, there was a smashing sound. I looked out the window and saw smoke rising from the airport. Then the train started running backwards to Mechelin where everyone had to get off because they had shut down all transportation in the region.
It was the 2016 Brussels Bombing. And I realized, I stood in a coffee shop to call my friends, that that woman had saved my life. If she hadnāt been there, I would have made my train and been in the terminal when and where it happened. In the moment, and sometimes after, she feels like God, or at the very least an angel. My mom, of course, pointed out that I didnāt see her drink the juice and angels do not need to eat.
Apr 28, 2024
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Iām the fourth of six kids, so growing up there simply werenāt enough eyes to really keep us all in check. Apparently I was ālow needsā (learned behavior) so it was really easy for me to sneak away, and I did often.
When I was around 5 or 6 we were visiting family in Connecticut. I met some kids at the beach and when they invited me to their house, I just followed. My parents at some point noticed I was gone and freaked out, but found their way to me through various people directing them. I guess we walked along the sea wall and could have easily fallen onto some sharp rocks š¤·āāļø. They found me miles away, playing in the kidsā backyard, unscathed.
I also got lost at Disney when I was 7. They found me marching in the parade.
I know for sure I have some guardian angels, even before I had confirmation, because Iāve done a lot more of this in more dangerous situations and I was always relatively fine.
Jul 4, 2024
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I was on a flight from Mexico that was going through a storm. There was insane turbulenceāthe kind where everyone is screaming and crying and praying. I was panic sobbing, gripping my arm rests for dear life, when the Mexican teenage boy next to me held out his hand for me to hold. I was so touched. I gripped his hand for the last 45 min of the flight as we were tossed around in the air and the pilot made crazy maneuvers and I seriously considered texting my family that I love them just in case.
When we finally landed I was so grateful for this little act of kindness and said muchas gracias and the kid gave me a little smile and said ātienes Instagram?ā lmao. We still follow each other on instagram.
Apr 18, 2024
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Lotta years back.
I was
fightin a northern wind through
West Texas.
Just oil wells and old
shacks out there. In a moment everything vanished.
I couldn't see
anything. It was just me and the truck. I tried applying the brake but didn't get no sound or feeling.
Nothing. Then even the truck went missin.
Just me. Couldn't move.
I felt my heart beating though.
That's about it. And my thoughts still going.
Later they said I had
a seizure.
A bad one. Drove the
truck right off the highway through those oil fields and kept on driving for miles. Didn't hit anything cause there's not much to hit out there. Ran outa gas. I must've been unconscious for 200 miles. They found me in the desert near Tarzan. Got me on a special diet now.
Dec 11, 2023
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ā°
No screen Sundays. If I want to listen to music its CDs or radio. If I want to watch a movie, no I donāt. If I want to see a friend, I will make plans with them on Friday or Saturday to meet up. As a result, I read more, write more, and sit with questions like ādid Citizen Kaneās 50 year winning streak in the Sight and Sound critics choice survey end in 2012 or 2022? When did Stephen Merritt come out? Whats the etymology of Whitsun?ā
This is something that I have practiced off and on for many years but Iāve been doing it every week since December and I love the way that it just allows me one day of true freedom and rest.
Jan 22, 2025
Mar 3, 2025
My calendar this year has 52 of these week at a glance pages but I donāt think that way. So, I've been inspired by Ross Gayās Book of Delighs to start recording the little moments and sensations that bring me joy throughout the day. An analog pi.fyi, if you will.
heres some of what I have so far:
- Waking up to the sound of my upstairs neighborās footstep. It sounded nostalgic. Felt like company.
- Strawberry jam
- feeling tender for strangers: their lips, nail colors, their small wrists. Thinking of all the lives we hold gently.
- A young girl bought an LP at the bookstore just before I left. She stroked its cover with love
- Green tiles āthe mint shade always makes me think of Jancie
- Charlieās little bop and punch dancing to some German language punk
- lunch with Katherine, curry Brussels sprouts
- small talk at the photo studio. The photographer's brother was named after their dad, stole his identity, bought jet skis.
Jan 13, 2025