i wouldn’t necessarily say their reaction comes from insecurity or low self-esteem but from a lack of understanding. it is very rare for people to have the confidence that you describe yourself to have so i just don’t think people are used to it and then make an assumption based off of what they are used to and familiar with.
for advice though i’m not too sure tbh… the only thing i could suggest is making an effort to show your kindness, at least in the beginning of meeting. as much as you don’t care about how others think of you which i agree with and relate to, i think it is important to care about how you make others feel, regardless of intention. definitely not saying you don’t already but i know from my own experience, that awareness has been lost from me countless times :)
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Ohh i see ur point of view! Because i definitely dont show any emotion when i indirectly meet new people, for exemple if i am with a friend and we meet someone they know, i would kind of zone out until they finish their little meeting and i wont b standing there smiling to their face or anything.
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Some people are just better at handling it than others. Remember that it’s likely nobody is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about yourself! If people are judging you, this is something you can either learn and grow from if you do something legitimately wrong, or they’re just being rude and critical for no reason and that’s a reflection on them. Give others grace, patience, and the benefit of the doubt and hopefully they’ll do the same for you.
Not everybody will like you and that’s okay! And as much as we would like to think we can and as much effort as some may put into it, we can never truly control the way others perceive us. Find ways to develop self esteem and confidence that comes from within based off of traits you admire and respect about yourself regardless of what other people think.
I would recommend that you undergo DIY exposure therapy by throwing yourself into lots of social scenarios big and small that make you blush and shake and feel like you want to crawl out of your skin. Go into public places and force yourself to make pleasant small talk with strangers + share something small about yourself with them! Ask people about themselves! Go to a party or an event and make it a goal to talk to X number of people.
But also remember that you don’t have to share your whole personality with everyone you meet and depending on the context and circumstances it may not even be appropriate to do so. So maybe start with identifying aspects of your personality you want to show most consistently with everyone you meet and go from there!
May 16, 2024
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used to struggle a lot with this, was definitely due in part to a lot of insecurity but also some diagnosed anxiety issues. medication helped for me with the latter, but the insecurity I def had to tackle as I got older.
one thing that helped me was framing interactions differently. with an insecure mindset, each interaction has the subconscious goal to have the other person like you. that’s a lot of pressure! of course that will make you nervous if you feel like you’re always being evaluated. truth is some people won’t like you, some people will really like you, but most folks that you only meet in passing aren’t really thinking deeper than the immediate interaction and will find you pleasant if you have basic manners and such. ultimately, though, it’s entirely out of your control how others will perceptive you!
instead, I found that interactions are best if you approach them with authenticity and curiosity. all you gotta do is be your true self, people will think what they may but at least you’re being perceived as you and not you trying to perform how you think will be best received. and people generally want to know the people they're around! you should bring that assumption and just let the other person know you. you don’t need to be funny or an expert story teller, getting to know someone can be rewarding in and of itself. and you’re worth knowing! internalizing that truth will develop confidence.
in turn, get to know them! over the course of a conversation, you can really learn a lot about someone by just asking questions as they come up. be curious! it’s not prying, people love talking about who they are (within reason obv). interactions are hard if you don’t have anything to go off of, and that will always be awkward. so your goal is just to get to know a bit about who the person you’re interacting with is, maybe you’ll find something that resonates and then the interaction will come so naturally.
ultimately, no one thinks about you more than yourself. and that’s not to say you’re insignificant, but most people are too busy thinking about themselves to think too hard about you. whatever little minor thing you did or said, or how you looked or acted, so much of that will not be scrutinized by someone else nearly to the point you’ll scrutinize it because you think they’re scrutinizing it. find some relief knowing that you’re not being microanalyzed by anything other than your own insecurity, and you can choose not to listen.
May 13, 2024
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i feel like so many people are so insecure or afraid of what others think of them that they’re afraid to be genuine. it’s easier to be nonchalant because then no one can really judge who you ARE. but like. what’s the point of cultivating relationships if they’re only wanting to spend time with your self crafted persona. if we’re true to ourselves the right people will be attracted to that light :)
Jan 5, 2025
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i neeeed to have a smashed up iphone 7 in my hand right now!!!! there is nothing like it. the sun felt brighter, the air felt cleaner, i didn't know good music yet, i didn't know good movies yet, my brain was just empty. no opinions on anything, all i did was look at screen, cry, sleep, and eat. now i have to do stupid things like work at h&m and be angry at the world. i wanna go on musically and watch jason derulo dance in 2x speed and look like an animatronic. i want to watch the fosters with my mom and be so young and stupid i don't understand what the big deal about callie and brandon is. i wanna be amused by hour long wisdom teeth videos. i want to make friends with random people online that i won't even remember a year later. i want to tell my mom my stomach hurts and i need to stay home from school 4/5 days of the week! give it back!!!!
Feb 3, 2025
new headphones finally. maybe i’ll get out of this awful depressive episode finally. i’m me again. linked my spotify btw 😏😝
Feb 5, 2025
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i want to be able to see if people are thinking what i am at the exact moment that i think it. same with spotify i think that would be so fun. i don't want to have to leave the source to talk about it.
Feb 24, 2025