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friends, partners, pets, neighbours, people you see once and never again, lines from your favourite poems, voicenotes your sister sends every week, eating chinese food on the street with an old friend, the part in bizarre love triangle that goes "EVry time i seeeee you fallin i GET down on my kneeees and pray".... i used to be so cautious! but time is short and life is nothing. i'll never be cautious again!
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even platonically, falling in love is one of the most beautiful things about life. more specifically, loving people- the way your friends do something that’s so characteristically themselves, and you can’t help but get up and throw your arms around them and think, maybe you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. the way your mother smiles and the weird little color offset in her eyes catch the light so right, and then she tells a funny joke and it catches you so off guard that you spit your water out. the way that boy in the hallway smiled at you when you started geeking about the band on your shirt.
i love to love people. i love to love all of the little things that make people unique. i love to imagine that our paths cross in every universe.
“i am a mosaic of everyone i have ever met in this lifetime.”
Jan 24, 2025
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sincere posting look away if ur not a lovestruck fool
sometimes i look at this man with so much love in my heart it feels like butterflies again. i have best friends, of course. i love them so much and they will be in my life forever. but in these moments i’m struck with the thought “you are truly my best friend.” in past relationships, i’d try to force that feeling. now, it really does just occur to me. i get so excited for forever with him. most days, it’s not like this. most days we’re just together and there’s no stress or worry about our relationship. we’re just two people together, happy and that’s that. i am so used to this kind of love, it’s become my normal. but some days, i am struck by how in love i am and how lucky i am.
the first time i realized this was forever, a part of me felt weird about that. i had to say goodbye to the part of me that loved first dates, first kisses, and the ‘will they won’t they.’ Forever was always what I was looking for, but when presented with it, I worried about never feeling that way again.
Anyway, I don’t get first date feelings now, and I’ll never kiss someone new. But this feeling is so much better. He’s asleep right now, and I cannot wait for him to wake up so I can spend another day laughing with him.
Jan 29, 2024
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there you are! you, who in my heart of hearts i love completely.
Feb 21, 2024
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we are all going forward. none of us are going back (i am, and will always be, a richard siken stan)
Jun 9, 2024
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it's almost 9pm and i'm in bed with my cat, watching reruns of that terrible MTV documentary show "my life as liz", drinking cans of dr. pepper from the corner shop. socialising? i don't know her
Apr 6, 2024
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there's an inherent power in this
Apr 6, 2024