I've almost been in my 30's for 5 years and I've loved it. There's something about it that has been deepening and richening. I focus more on what matters to me, and cultive how I want my life to look. My 20's was wild and chaotic and a lot of hard inner and outer work. I still work hard, but I'm reaping the benefits of it a bit more now. I'm busy yet relaxed. I feel like I did the hard work earlier that I'm now really benefiting from.
When I turned 30 I wrote out 30+ lessons that I learned. I never shared it at the time because it felt egotistical lol, but it's actually pretty good so I'll share it here! Aging is a gift!! Embrace your fully formed brain. You'll always be changing and growing, but you're entering this beautiful space where you're still young and can relate to young folks, but you have enough experience to relate to older folks too. It's a blast!
Mossy Elfie's Hard Earned Lessons from her 20's
1. Laughter is truly the best medicine. KEEP PLAYING!
2. Express love to those you love as often as possible.
3. Learning to communicate effectively is the greatest tool you can have.
4. Being upfront about how you feel may lead to getting hurt, but will 100% benefit you in the long run.
5. There are lessons in every experience. This doesn’t excuse trauma, but can help heal it.
6. Sometimes when a therapist or someone you love calls you out on your shit, you can feel it’s untrue because it actually is, or because you’re being defensive. Learn how to discern between the two.
7. Questioning your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs isn’t threatening, even if it feels like it. There’s no harm- if it’s true, it’s true. If not, you can begin to change.
8. It’s true, the relationship you have with yourself is the most important.
9. People are doing the best they can with the tools they have.
10. Listen to actions, not words. Even good people with the best intentions have flaws, and that’s okay.
11. Everyone’s path is different, and it’s so easy to judge. It’s a good idea to learn how to detach from that. Let people live!! Including yourself.
12. Even if it’s bs, having faith the universe has your back provides endless calm and a sense of being loved + protected.
13. Children and animals will heal your soul. Volunteering at an animal shelter is always a good idea. Seriously, go do it.
14. You don’t need to know all the steps or even have a clear end goal, but you do need a vision to work towards and the immediate next step.
15. Friends will come and go- that’s natural. It’s okay to be sad about it. A loss is a loss.
16. If something is consistently making you miserable, that’s a good sign it’s not for you.
17. Go towards what brings you joy, especially regarding vocation. This doesn’t mean it won’t be stressful or annoying at times, but the main feelings should be joy + accomplishment.
18. Despite what the culture tells you there is no timeline or rule book. Do whatever TF you want! But! Be healthy in that.
19. Crying, yelling, breathing, laughing, hugging all helps… a lot. EMOTE.
20. Everyone is working on something different, but we’re all striving for balance.
21. Your body changes constantly. I know the overarching message is to change it, but your body is a miracle. Being alive is a miracle! When you’re feeling down about your body, that’s a sign to give it a ton of love, NOT to try and change it.
22. Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person. You can forgive someone and not have them in your life.
23. Everyone truly has their own individual experiences, which is equally beautiful and terrifying to me.
24. No one can be forced to change. It only happens when they are ready. It doesn’t matter if all the facts are known, it won’t happen until the internal shift does.
25. BREATHING will help solve every problem. Always begin and come back to deep breaths.
26. Change and growth can be hard. They can be really scary. But it’s not impossible. Everyone has the capacity to change.
27. Having empathy for others allows you to act from a space of love, even in anger. That doesn’t mean being a doormat for people’s behavior, it just means in your anger you’re treating them with love and respect.
28. We are all ever changing, evolving beings. The work never stops- it’s a lifelong process.
29. You have and are going to make a ton of mistakes. You are going to hurt people. Please forgive yourself. No one benefits from you feeling eternally guilty, especially yourself. Take responsibility, have remorse, learn the lesson, and let go.
30. Nothing is permanent, especially feelings and thoughts. Soak up each moment and let it pass. Nothing bad will last forever, but neither will the good. It’s all an ebb and flow so, flow.
31. It’s so important to be honest with how you’ve been wounded. It’s equally important to be honest with how you’ve wounded others. You need to heal from both.
32. Soak up and cherish every moment. Truly, seriously. That is what life is all about- experiences and the way you feel. Even my worst moments, I’ll probably never feel that way again. I treasure it all.
33. My god, life can be so hard. Just be fucking kind to one another.
34. The darkness always fades into light. The light always comes back. I promise.
