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birthdays have been existentially miserable to me for pretty much my entire adult life but for the past couple of years I’ve felt pretty neutral about them. I’m not really doing anything to celebrate today but I’m not despondent either and that feels like a win to me. I think it’s actually okay for it to be just a day but my goal next year turning 30 is to try to care a little more about it and find that happy medium perhaps
Jun 24, 2024

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it’s such a awkward marker of a new year. a weird mix of wanting people to celebrate you, but feeling tired of the obligation to thank everyone that only reaches out once a year. i always find birthdays really hard, and fairly disappointing. my recommendation is to give yourself grace, and do what makes you happy. i know it’s such a generic rec but this past year on the actual day i just took it easy, treated myself to some takeout, and watched a show in bed. a few days after i got together with friends and we went to a restaurant i love but they’d never really wanted to go to. and then we ate homemade cake and watched a movie. sorry if this isn’t a very upbeat response (: <3 happy birthday!! and know random people on the internet are celebrating you (:
Jul 30, 2024
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I used to cry every year on my bday but honestly in recent years I’ve grown to love it? Idk if it’s bc I’ve gotten older or feel less pressure, but even just seeing two besties on the day warms my heart and I just love my birthday! 🎈
Apr 15, 2024
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my birthday often falls the week of thanksgiving, so i usually just take the day off as a "extending the long weekend" if i don't already get it off. since i moved to the west coast ~3 years ago and most of my friends and family are back in new york, every year on my birthday in the morning i make sure to: 1. respond to every single birthday text i got, and if possible hop on a quick call with as many people as i can. basically just a gratitude practice of "hey as i've gotten older i've not only developed meaningful relationships, i've also held onto a lot of meaningful relationships." 2. eat breakfast out; i think my birthday breakfast for the last two years has been Oddfellows Café + Bar (oddfellowscafe.com), but taking the time to have an extra special solo (or with my partner) breakfast keeps the scaries at bay for at least a couple hours 3. going shopping for a birthday gift for myself in person so i have something to open when i get home. after that it's pretty much just about having a couple extra things to do during my day like trying a new restaurant / going to a favorite for lunch, running a "fun" errand like dropping off film to get scanned, and then meeting local friends for either dinner out and / or cake and games back at my apartment, etc. having something where i can look back and feel like i did something is all i'm looking for; i think through my late teens / early twenties i put a lot of emphasis on wanting my my birthday to feel "special" which meant it was doomed to not be "special" enough. since pivoting to having fun my birthday has felt a lot more special since it's just different from the monotony of a normal day, and there wasn't any extra pressure on it
Apr 1, 2024

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My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌
Feb 23, 2025
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I’ve been thinking about how much of social media is centered around curating our self-image. When selfies first became popular, they were dismissed as vain and vapid—a critique often rooted in misogyny—but now, the way we craft our online selves feels more like creating monuments. We try to signal our individuality, hoping to be seen and understood, but ironically, I think this widens the gap between how others perceive us and who we really are. Instead of fostering connection, it can invite projection and misinterpretation—preconceived notions, prefab labels, and stereotypes. Worse, individuality has become branded and commodified, reducing our identities to products for others to consume. On most platforms, validation often comes from how well you can curate and present your image—selfies, aesthetic branding, and lifestyle content tend to dominate. High engagement is tied to visibility, not necessarily depth or substance. But I think spaces like PI.FYI show that there’s another way: where connection is built on shared ideas, tastes, and interests rather than surface-level content. It’s refreshing to be part of a community that values thoughts over optics. By sharing so few images of myself, I’ve found that it gives others room to focus on my ideas and voice. When I do share an image, it feels intentional—something that contributes to the story I want to tell rather than defining it. Sharing less allows me to express who I am beyond appearance. For women, especially, sharing less can be a radical act in a world where the default is to objectify ourselves. It resists the pressure to center appearance, focusing instead on what truly matters: our thoughts, voices, and authenticity. I’ve posted a handful of pictures of myself in 2,500 posts because I care more about showing who I am than how I look. In trying to be seen, are we making it harder for others to truly know us? It’s a question worth considering.
Dec 27, 2024