itâs such a awkward marker of a new year. a weird mix of wanting people to celebrate you, but feeling tired of the obligation to thank everyone that only reaches out once a year.
i always find birthdays really hard, and fairly disappointing.
my recommendation is to give yourself grace, and do what makes you happy. i know itâs such a generic rec but this past year on the actual day i just took it easy, treated myself to some takeout, and watched a show in bed. a few days after i got together with friends and we went to a restaurant i love but theyâd never really wanted to go to. and then we ate homemade cake and watched a movie.
sorry if this isnât a very upbeat response (: <3
happy birthday!! and know random people on the internet are celebrating you (:
Jul 30, 2024
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This is the best response I could have gotten, birthdays are so so weird. Thank you and happy birthday to us all <3
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manifesto forthcoming.
i hear time and time again - âiâm not a birthday person.â as a convert, iâm here to challenge that limiting belief.
not unlike new yearâs eve, getting your hopes up for a single night is futile. thus, i have the following advice:
-embrace birthday weekÂ
  month is a little much, even for me, but allow the week to be birthday-centric. this doesnât have to be sunday to sunday; it can  consist of any of the surrounding days that feel relevant to THE day
-multiple experiences
  much like new yearâs eve, hanging your hat on one night is doomed. thus, i recommend that you implement ALL (not some) of the following:
INTIMATE DINNER
+with partner, family, a couple of friends. something that feels low key and non stressful. great for a thursday or sunday night. let them know ahead of time (if they need reminding) that you would like a candle of some sort on a house dessert (is this too bossy?? NO! youâd do the same for the ones you love. next). (i also get desserts with candles the whole month, unabashedly. and do the same for loved ones.)
SOLO DAY
+plan things for yourself: solo lunch, matinee, massage. buy a fancy latte. take a cab. spare no expense; today you turn off the switch in your head that wonders if itâs worth it because it is.
FRIEND DAY
+have people over, meet at a bar, or throw a full on party. this is group time. i honestly recommend doing this one last. youâll likely have enough fun with the other two events that this will feel like a cherry on top. ask your type A friend to help plan, if you need help, and remind them again ab some sort of treat w canes. this doesnât have to be a blowout! tell everyone to bring whomever, +1s, enemies as itâs more-the-merrier vibes.
tl;dr everyone deserves to be celebrated and there are people in your life eager to help you make it happen. ask for what you want. do the same for them down the line â¤ď¸
ps my birthday is 3/17 if you need to start preparing
pps bonus tip - pic is of last yearâs birthday outfit. i also like to throw a very easy mini theme to get people thinking ahead of time (i said to wear silk, leather, or mesh. everybody looked hot)
ppps i have so much more to say ab this, lmk if you want moreÂ
Feb 3, 2024
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one of the most memorable birthdays i have had is a surprise birthday for my 18th or 21st and i absolutely hated it. i appreciated the effort my family went through to do it but it was my literal nightmare.
my birthday tradition is to spend it doing whatever i want and not feel bad about it. if that means spending an obscene amount of money on shoes i've been lusting after, heck yeah i'll do it. if that means spending the entire day at the cinemas, you bet i'm there. if that means going out with my friends or travelling, yeah i'm doing it. and sometimes i actually just don't feel like doing anything at all and that is sometimes a vibe too.
i think sometimes we are put under pressure to celebrate our birthdays in a certain way with others or throw parties but if that isn't authentic to you or you just don't feel like it, your birthday should be the one day of the year that you can do whatever you want.
Jan 8, 2025
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my birthday often falls the week of thanksgiving, so i usually just take the day off as a "extending the long weekend" if i don't already get it off. since i moved to the west coast ~3 years ago and most of my friends and family are back in new york, every year on my birthday in the morning i make sure to:
1. respond to every single birthday text i got, and if possible hop on a quick call with as many people as i can. basically just a gratitude practice of "hey as i've gotten older i've not only developed meaningful relationships, i've also held onto a lot of meaningful relationships."
2. eat breakfast out; i think my birthday breakfast for the last two years has been Oddfellows CafĂŠ + Bar (oddfellowscafe.com), but taking the time to have an extra special solo (or with my partner) breakfast keeps the scaries at bay for at least a couple hours
3. going shopping for a birthday gift for myself in person so i have something to open when i get home.
after that it's pretty much just about having a couple extra things to do during my day like trying a new restaurant / going to a favorite for lunch, running a "fun" errand like dropping off film to get scanned, and then meeting local friends for either dinner out and / or cake and games back at my apartment, etc.
having something where i can look back and feel like i did something is all i'm looking for; i think through my late teens / early twenties i put a lot of emphasis on wanting my my birthday to feel "special" which meant it was doomed to not be "special" enough. since pivoting to having fun my birthday has felt a lot more special since it's just different from the monotony of a normal day, and there wasn't any extra pressure on it
Apr 1, 2024
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