You feel like you're a failure
And it's enough to make you sick
Listened to this song at the end of my RMYC term. In this big van with my crew, knowing that I'll probably never see them all together again like this driving together through the mountains. I was coming to terms with the end of my relationship, grieving that, and anticipating the grief of the end of my term.. knowing I'd have to go back to real life soon.
Jun 25, 2024
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to me it’s always been kind of a sad song but it’s also resoundingly hopeful
it’s not been the best year but it’s not been the worst, you know how it is- life kind of just happens.
i of course like the part :: “don’t cry… don’t raise your eye… it’s only teenage wasteland”
i graduate this spring and that’s obviously a big milestone. being in high school is kind of uniquely miserable and beautiful at the same time. i’m glad to move on but it’s bittersweet
i’m trying to stay in the present while also remembering that this is really “teenage wasteland” i.e: slums of adolescence.. what feels big now won’t ever matter again.
things might feel empty and really suck, but you gotta keep moving forward. i guess that’s what i learned this year.
long rant over now 🧘♀️
Dec 31, 2024
succinctly captures the sinking feeling of hearing bad news and things taking a turn for the worse. despite the bleak nature of the lyrics, the song is incredibly mesmerizing and i can’t stop listening to it
Nov 22, 2024
I’ve thought about this waaaaay too much.
at the end of my movie, im old, completely alone, and dying of lung cancer. in the hospital, my heart flatlines. The nurse has left the room, busy with other patients. No one notices I’ve died.
This song starts playing. the credits start rolling over the following scene:
cut to me on a vast, empty road somewhere in rural idaho. a border collie leads me down the vacant road. she runs back and forth across the road, barking at me, telling me to keep following her. we are utterly free. no one but the two of us. i smile.
Jul 19, 2024
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I'm traveling for work for the next three months and am writing a newsletter for all my fellas back home. Figured I'd share it here too :) Started my travels in St. Louis, my home town.
(digi cam pics included as well)
Oct 4, 2024
🙊
not necessarily by choice- my job has me giving presentations about twice a day. I used to be so afraid (I still am), but I'm getting better every day! And that feels good. Conquering a fear ya kno?
Sep 30, 2024
super yummy and easy to make! and I don't have to turn on my oven and heat up my entire apartment to make it.
replace the condensed milk w condensed coconut milk and put seasalt over the top before it sets in the fridge
Jun 25, 2024