Iām in my late 20s, Aquarius sun and Aquarius ascendant - Iāve felt misunderstood my entire life.
You can find love and meaningful relationships but it doesnāt mean that ultimately you are truly understood. I firmly believe that the only person that can understand and love you is yourself.
By slowly learning this I have finally found peace within my loneliness and I understand how valuable my energy and time is - I used to settle for anybody that would see something special in me but that was just feeding my insecurities, plus people liked the idea of me but not necessarily the real me.
I would like to share this song with you by Noname - these lyrics hit hard: āpeople say they love you but they really love potential not the person thatās in front of them but the person youāll grow intoā.
Jul 18, 2024
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Sometimes I get caught up chasing ideals of love. Growing up with immigrant parents in the US, I wished my parents showed me love the way my friends' parents did. My parents seemed cold in comparison to the affection I saw my friends receiving. I fell for best friends who did love me but never enough and never in the ways I wanted them to.
Nowadays I have grown to appreciate the ways in which my parents do show me love -- when they ask if I've eaten or when I dye my mom's hair as she peels me oranges. Friendship to me no longer needs to be tied up in such rigid binaries. It's not the label of a relationship I'm after but rather just the intimacy of knowing other people. I try not to focus so much on how I wish to be loved by other people and instead pay attention to all the different ways I am loved. Acting with a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And in that way, everything feels enough.
Disclaimer: Establishing boundaries is paramount. Love that is corrosive or manipulative is not love.
Feb 1, 2024
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Truly, it will come out of nowhere. In my case from a place where Iād least expected it.
-donāt seek out a specific kind of love, sometimes having close friends you can emotionally connect w and support is so so important for your wellbeing. And more often than not romantic love can sprout from the platonic sort.
-keep growing and healing and being the best version of yourself u can be being yourself is so insanely magnetic esp. to those who are going to mesh well w u
-be receptive to your own emotions and Know that love will come out of nowhere and hit u upside the head
Jun 7, 2024
now i am a very lucky person because i am in love with some who was once one of my best friends. (sadly this rec probably isnāt universally applicable but contains good lessons i hope!) iād met him during the first week of freshman year of college, and we immediately became close. hung out a ton and related on a lot of issues/values but our interactions were always platonic.
by wintertime we were being seen together around campus a ton, to the point that our acquaintances started asking whether we were a couple. weād laugh at the idea, even joking about it ourselves. oh how oblivious we were.
spring rolled around and i suddenly caught feelings. for a couple weeks i tried to convince myself i didnāt like him because i was so afraid of losing our beautiful friendship. i thought it impossible that he would feel the same as me. yes, pretty torturous!! alas, my Emotional Suppression didnāt work. thank god, because one night when we were hanging out in my room he finally kissed me. i had been so afraid but instantly i knew it was right. the risk was worth it.
weāve now been together for almost two years and he is truly the love of my life. he is the best risk Iāve ever taken. yes this is so platitudinous, but sometimes love comes when you least expect it and appears in odd places!
more generally, i think
- looking for people whose values align with yours is a wonderful place to start establishing intimate and long-lasting relationships, both platonic and romantic.
- itās never worthwhile to force something to work out if your gut tells you itās wrong ā youāre worth more than that. love doesnāt thrive when itās fed by obligation and pressure.
- donāt be afraid to present yourself in your full authenticity to others. if someone else has a problem with You in your Grandest Expression, theyāre not worth your energy. love is meant to affirm and expand who you are, not place boundaries on it.
- go on self dates and explore what it means to have a loving relationship with yourself! you, as a singular self, are already whole and enough without having a partner. you are complete as a baseline regardless of your relationship status; a partner is meant to complement and embrace this wholeness!!
love is ridiculous and hard and beautiful; trust it when you feel it!!
Nov 10, 2024
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Jul 23, 2024
Iām rewatching all Wes Andersonās movies: great music selection. I stumbled upon this niche beauty (cosmic post-rock) that I used to listen to in my teenage years, it never gets old. Sigur RĆ³s, Icelandic musicians like Bjork - are magical to me.
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