Related Recs

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it’s simply to gain experiences

I saw dating (especially with apps) as just a way to gain experience and practice different relationship communication, I.e. how to draw boundaries or bring up small conflicts (used to be a nonexistent skill for me). I set some expectations from the get go as well. I said I didn’t text, and I only saw someone I was dating once per week. I had a tendency prior to become enmeshed really easy, so I was making sure I didn’t fall into that same trap. It helps give time to actually get to know someone before it becomes “serious.” Also… YOU are the prize of your life. As others have stated, you’re seeing if someone can fit (well enough) into your full and luscious life. Keep yourself busy with friends, family, learning, fun, hobbies. You have an awareness already that this is a thing for you. When you notice yourself starting to go insane, PAUSE! Explore that. See how you can slow down.

@mossyelfie

Jul 2, 2024

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TEXT FIRST. NOT PLAYING HARD TO GET JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A GIRL.

I am just learning this lesson as a deeply anxious person when it comes to dating/crushing! We’re told on social media so many things about being pursued and black cat energy and how to get men to chase etc. (Which a lot of these ideas are true and beneficial to keeping healthy detachment). But, I’ve seen none of these methods work for me and actually have caused me a lot of wasted anxiety. Obviously don’t be too clingy or overwhelm communication. But there’s genuinely nothing wrong with showing interest by maintaining communication with someone you’re into. Here’s an example: I met this guy that I like..alot. When we’re in person it’s ELECTRIC, but our texts are consistent/not as electric. I decided to go a week not texting to “test his interest”. Hated how I felt doing it. Last night I just said, “Hey :) you doing okay?” to which he responded “Holaaaaaa”. I instantly felt like an idiot because that text felt quite dry to me. So I went on Tiktok for advice and naturally every video said “If his text is dry pull back and ghost him because he’s not interested.” But that didn’t feel right for me, and discouraged me a lot. especially based on our past communication, I just didn’t feel he was pulling back. So I decided to just try my own approach. I said, “I’d like to chat with you. You around this weekend?” He INSTANTLY facetimed me and we had a wonderful hour long catch up where we both realized texting sucks and it’s so much nicer to chat on the phone. (We live in different countries atm) My point here is, if I would’ve listened to all of this advice, I would’ve pushed away someone I really enjoy based on what society considers the right way to date. DO YOU & BE YOU. You can’t say or do the wrong thing to the right person :)

@courtnipoe

Nov 29, 2024

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If it can happen to me, it can happen to you

This time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship that’s ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now I’m 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again Some of the (many) things that worked for me: - Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (I’m not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think you’re ready, it’s possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever. - On a related note, therapy was very needed! - Start a new, group hobby where you’ll see the same people each week. Not that you’ll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and it’s exciting to have something new in your life that isn’t tied to success on a dating app. - Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isn’t yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you you’ll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it). Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ❤️

@tortitude

Apr 1, 2024

2

Top Recs from @mossyelfie

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Not recording strangers in public and posting it on the internet

This has become the norm and every day I grow more disturbed. I understand if somebody is behaving in a harmful way, that is good to document and put out there. But as a whole, it seems, we have become so comfortable with recording people just living their lives. I saw a video of a guy working and the caption of the video was that he was so hot, we needed to find him!!! Why are you providing the Internet with his face and location instead of just going up to talk to him? I saw another of two people on the subway, seemingly a couple, having a very emotional moment. How would you feel if you open up an app and saw a video like that of yourself? I don’t like this level of sibling society surveillance. Why are you videoing an elderly person with sad music dubbed over it to gain likes? It is WEIRD. Don’t even get me started on videos of children. It is WEIRD to use a stranger without their consent to get some kind of fake validation. Get a life. I don’t mean to come on here and share something so negative, I just don’t have anywhere else to put it and it’s gnawing at me.

@mossyelfie

Oct 7, 2024

12

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Stingray skeletons

cartilaginous

@mossyelfie

Feb 23, 2025

6

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Pi.fyi users who lurk more than they post

I’m curious what your brains are like

@mossyelfie

1d ago

10