A lot of people will usually recommend signing up for courses or joining clubs to make new friends as an adult. This is definitely good advice, since it puts you in contact with people who share your interests! However, I've found that a lot of these courses or clubs cost money, or they require a schedule that's difficult to fit into an adult life. I've had the most luck making friends at local music shows so far. This way, you're around people that still share at least one of your interests (music taste), and you'll usually have more in common from there. After leaving the "bubble" of my university, I felt very isolated at first. After a few months of going to shows on my own here and there, I started to recognize some familiar faces in the scene & made new connections with a few people. I'd recommend picking a couple bands to keep up with, or following a few local booking companies on social media. If you don't vibe with the crowd at the ones you chose, you can always switch lanes and try different venues! Different groups/venues usually attract different age ranges as well, so if you notice people are too far out of your range at your show, just keep trying other options. I've realized that there's actually multiple scenes inside my local scene, which may be the case for a lot of midsize-to-bigger cities/areas. If you find venues, bands, or booking groups that support certain causes you care about, then most people in the crowd will also share your values, not just your interests! Typically the shows are very cheap, and they're irregular instead of attending a recurring class, so you can decide when you feel like socializing. Even if you don't meet people you connect with, it's nice to feel like a part of a bigger community & get out of the house sometimes. Going out frequently can be draining to some people, so once you meet some people from the shows, you can start inviting them to other activities or hangouts that might be more lowkey & easier to manage!
Aug 20, 2024
Related Recs
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It gets harder to meet new people as you get older, especially if you aren’t in a super social work environment. The dating apps can sometimes hit but the amount of effort it takes can be exhausting, so I’d say have it as just one part of a collection of things you’re doing to make connections.
Finding a community of people who are also into the same creative endeavor has always gotten consistent results for me. I saw you’re into making zines, so participating in a zine fair could be fun. You could also check out the 8-Ball Community which has a publishing initiative — I think they‘re pretty welcoming if you’re looking to volunteer / get involved.
But yeah, showing up semi-regularly to the same places and becoming familiar is a key. I moved to Portland Oregon for a year back in 2009 and didn’t know a single person which was super hard. I ended up just hanging out at this parking lot with a bunch of food trucks and got to talking with some of the other kids that hung out and worked there. Eventually I got invited out to some of their parties and by the end of the year was part of their crew. Took a while tho!
Also, it tends to start with just one friend. And if that person accepts you, then everyone else they’re friends with will too. And then you can hang with the other people and keep branching out. It’s a practice, one that develops over a lifetime.
Mar 18, 2024
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I moved to a new city during covid and times were tough here for a while, but this is what worked for me:
- befriending your coworkers (sometimes they’re really cool and will become your bff, most of them time they’re fine to occasionally hang w)
-being a regular at a coffee shop, bar, or concert/show venue (hit up the familiar faces and they’re likely to introduce you to their crew as well)
-bumble bff (kind of the worst but also fun- I met a few of my close friends on here who then introduced me to their friend groups. Mostly great interactions but be weary of some ppl trying to use it as a sly dating tool)
-get involved in the community! i host a book club and I play soccer on a local rec team. I’ve met so many people that I would’ve probably never encountered otherwise through Bookclub- don’t be afraid of multigenerational friendships! With soccer, I’ve met such a diverse crowd and it’s encouraged me to attempt to learn Spanish. It’s nice to be able to get a group of ppl together and play/practice when you all have a night free, or go and watch a game! If you’re sporty, you can also invite your new sporty pals out for runs, hikes, or other workout type activities!
Aug 20, 2024
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a coffee shop, running club, pottery class, karaoke night etc.
Whatever thing ur into. Go to places where you can do that thing regularly.
Eventally and usually pretty organically you will begin to make friends with people. People who you probably have alot in common with because you already have a shared interest. Yay!
I moved to a new state about a year ago knowing no one. I joined an improv class and now I have a whole network of people that I never expected to know. From that network you'll meet other people and so and so on.
Feb 3, 2025
Top Recs from @gforce2001
I love doing collages, cuz all you really need are magazine cutouts and glue. There's a very low barrier to entry, skill-wise AND supply-wise, unlike painting. Digital collages are fun too, but I try to have less screentime by doing the paper ones. If I want to re-use pieces instead of gluing them down permanently, sometimes I'll just take a picture of the current arrangement to immortalize it, and then start over on a new composition. That way, I don't have to constantly buy new magazines to get new cutouts. This is one of my favorite ones I've done so far:
Aug 22, 2024
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This is the only thing that keeps me sane at work. It's so slow right now. If anyone is wondering why I've posted like 9 times today.
3d ago
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i always get stuck choosing which stuff to watch/read/get into next when i look at my huge former watchlists & TBR's. a lot of items are things i put on there years ago and never got around to, so usually by the time i check the list again, my tastes have totally changed. i realized it was hard to get myself excited or motivated about half the stuff i put on there anymore, but i felt indebted to knocking it out anyway just because it was on the list. i'd recommend letting your current feelings/impulses take the wheel, and trust that you'll come back around to any of the other options if they're right for you later on.
Apr 18, 2024