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🙅

Being honest with yourself if you realize you simply don’t fw someone

Sometimes I get caught up in wanting so badly for someone to like me, that I don’t even realize that actually I don’t like them lol, or that they don’t make me feel good. I’m on my self-preservation journey, and it is time to say some rhetorical goodbyes for the sake of my peace and sanity !!

@lndsy

2d ago

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reconsidering friendships as you get older

I just don't think all friends are forever. I used to think every friend was worth investing in and fighting for to keep around for as long as possible, but it's becoming clear to me that it isn't always the case. Sometimes life situations change, or personalities change, or even the things you had in common with someone changes, and suddenly it's not the same. And that's okay. Other times it's the realization of self-growth and improvement that shifts you from friendships. I had one friend that I used to love to...well, gossip with. And at some point that desire to gossip dissipated from my life (for obvious reasons) and that friendship didn't seem that attractive anymore since it wasn't what I wanted to do. I remember when we felt the drift happen, it was so awkward for a bit but I genuinely feel like whenever we connected it would just become...toxic. And it wasn't like they made me worse; we both made each other worse. The idea of 'I have to leave them, they are bringing me down' is BS - it's a two way street buddy. They made me want to gossip / I made them want to gossip. You have to own your part in it. IDK! I just think at 30, there are people I though I'd be close to today that I am not close to at all and although I might miss them, I fully understand that I'm better and healthier and more sane because of that distance. IDK. I'm caffeinated rn. And in my feels. And Bon Iver isn't making it better!!!

@marianoleonczik

Sep 25, 2024

2

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Growing apart is noT your fault (most OF the time)

People change people grow apart and that’s ok. As someone with a lack of emotions permanence it’s already hard for me to recognize that people care about me unless I’m reminded 25/8 and while I’ve worked on that and can now remind myself that people care for me; it’s somehow even harder for me to realize when that it’s ok if people are growing apart from me. It’s inevitable. People growing apart from you is not a personal failure sometimes it’s just HAPPENS. Schedules change, distance change, levels of concern change, and that’s ok. I remember shortly after highschool ended a girl tried to poke fun at me for the fact that i “change” friends often (I have several 6+ year friendships but that’s besides the point LOL) but the truth is that I’ve always known when to let friends go and do their own thing. All of that is to say that life moves forward your circles change and you’re wasting time that you could be using to build stronger/new connections on things that have passed their course.

@Doll

1d ago

Top Recs from @veronjque

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We talk with our hands. Yes, I’m one of “those” 🍝

This thing always makes me smile. When I was little I never thought that something that came so natural to me could be perceived as weird/intriguing/surprising by people from other cultures. Growing up I understood that for others it was fascinating and funny, in some kind of way, to see us Italians, in our cities, in bars, restaurants, in squares, in the middle of the street, communicate with one another using very specific hand gestures paired with very specific facial expressions. It’s not just casually moving our hands up and down chaotically to emphasise what we are saying. I swear, we are able to communicate with each other without saying a single word, just using hand gestures+the facial expression associated with that gesture (we have at least 250 specific hand gestures). The roots of this sociological and anthropological phenomenon are to be found in the history of my country.  Basically for a long time Italy was not a unified country, we had dialects and languages that were different in every region, we had what we call “Signorie”, ruled by rich Italian families, then reigns that were ruled by Austria, Spain, France and so on. Basically, we couldn’t understand each other. Latin was the language of the educated, and Italian vulgar (Italian of the origins, which then gave life to the Italian spoken today) was not yet spoken. The only way to understand each other was through gestures. Even now, if a Venetian had to speak in dialect with a Sardinian, and the Sardinian had to speak in Sardinian, they would not understand well, but if they had to use the gestures they would understand instantly. I would love to create a sort of tutorial for italian gestures, maybe one day?  If someone knows a gesture, you can ask me what it actually means.  Maybe I can start with the most famous one, and the most misunderstood of all: “🤌🏼” When do we use this and what does it mean?  Let’s start with three different situations were you can use this gesture, even though there are more (the intensity of the meaning varies from the situation ur in): 1) What do you mean? (move the hand not to fast, up and down, close to your body) context: a friend says something that you don’t understand, you are confused. Facial expression: a kind of grimace with the corners of the mouth pointing downwards, the slit eyes (as when you can’t see well from afar), the eyebrows slightly frowning. You are not angry, just confused. 2) Start by raising a bit your open hand in front of the person you are facing (✋🏼-> meaning “stop”, “wait a minute”), then proceed with moving up and down your hand “🤌🏼”, turning the hand horizontally towards you chest. You’re not agreeing with what the person is saying, you’re a bit nervous, this gesture means “wait, what the heck are you saying?”. Facial expression: similar as the first one when you put you open hand up (bit more confused), then when you move the hand horizontally, accentuate that expression even more, with the mouth straight and clenched. Context: you are pissed, not angry. You’re starting to get angry. 3) Raise your arm horizontally, the hand is still in this position “🤌🏼” but turned horizontally as well. With a lot of emphasis, move the arm towards your chest and then facing it towards the other person, repeatedly. Meaning: “WHAT THE F DO U WANT?” Or “WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?”. Context: someone insults you, someone makes you very very angry by saying something. Facial expression: the face you do when you’re really angry 😤. (this is not good because this means an argument is going to start).  If you want a part 2…let me know? I don’t know if this is interesting, or if it was clear.

@veronjque

Apr 30, 2024

🧠

From someone that often is PARALYSED due to fear and anxiety: take that walk

This morning I started to recognise the familiar symptoms of an anxiety attack, that usually leads me to be completely unable to function. I have my resources and I can handle them (anxiety/panic attacks), even if they cause me an immense amount of pain, both physically and emotionally. But there’s one thing I was never ever able to do, that people often told me would help: put on comfortable clothes and take a walk, go outside and breathe, get the fuck out of your room. I thought I would never been able to do that, never. “I am not strong enough, it may be good for others, but me? I’m weak, I cannot function, something bad might happen, my body is not my ally in these cases”. I guess I was wrong, and I’m so happy to admit I was wrong. I said to myself, when those symptoms arised this morning: “ok, breathe, it’s just the same familiar stuff you know very well. Now, you can deal with it, even if you’re scared. But this time, why don’t you try something different? For just one time, allow yourself to react by moving your body, try to show your mind that there are other ways to deal with this”. I was scared as fuck, but I did it. And I discovered another part of myself that I thought wasn’t there. My body, this time, wasn’t against me…and maybe it never was, the poor thing was just trying to adapt to the comfort zone that stillness represented. I am incredibly strong, so much more than what I thought. And if someone needs to hear this: YOU ARE TOO.

@veronjque

Jan 25, 2025

👓

Its been a long time since i saw myself

Lately anxiety is not helping much, and I’m constantly drained due to exams coming up. I miss my family. I miss myself. This made me reflect on the fact that I’m still here, and also…we are such precious creatures. We diminish ourselves, but everything we touch we influence. We are way more powerful than we think we are. Anyway, let’s see what we have here: • a fraction of “THE wall”: from left to right two postcard I bought last summer at the Musée des Beaux Arts in Bruxelles (“Georgette” by Magritte, a pic of Magritte himself, on the bottom a quote I found in a fortune cookie, then a quote I found in a “Bacio Perugina” a chocolate treat that is very well known here in Italy, on top of Magritte two Js as you can see (this is a CRAZY story), then on a post-it a quote of a thing I wrote in a sort of essay, then a poem that my best friend wrote for me, another fortune biscuit’s quote, a post-card from a place in Italy called “Sacro Bosco” (Sacred Wood, also know as “Parco dei Mostri” = Monster’s Park), it’s an old black and white photo of a young boy grazing the sheep 🐑), two more post-its (one from roomies one from my mom). Yes I have a thing for post-its… • books I started and I never get the chance to finish because of uni (I really recommend though “Whatever arises love that” by Matt Kahn aaaand to start educate urself on Palestine (if you haven’t already started you should, it’s great) “Mornings in Jenin” by Susan Abulhawa) • Abat-jour, lamp, whatever you call her, with a “necklace” (bracelet I made with my granny when I was little, my wrist grew so the lamp suits it better as a lovely necklace), on top a sleep mask. • a notebook (I love it, the red one), on top my two pairs of reading glasses. • Forest green water bottle (very used, but I love her) • A ceramic jewellery holder, which was of my beloved grandmother, with jewels I inherited from her 🥺 • a thing I use to store my bangles and bracelets (my little treasure, they’re all vintage/inherited) • one of my thousands of candles (I don’t know why they ease my anxiety) and mini Corto Maltese (in my opinion a masterpiece in the world of comic-strips) themed matches.

@veronjque

May 12, 2024