As a notorious lover girl... To me the love (and pain) never truly dissappears. However, there is a big difference between still holding space for those feelings vs constantly still thinking about it.
Some general things that help a lot are to exercise (get outta your head and into ur body), make art about it! and invest in your relationships with others. Deepen the friendships you already have and see if you might know people who can meet ur needs other than ur ex (e.g. find a friend to call or text whenever, find a friend who you can have platonic sleepovers with etc).
Though the most important step, to me, is the to get angry. I need to feel wronged by an ex in a way that causes anger to really kickstart the letting go process. Sometimes that means getting in touch again with them and letting them hurt you again. Actually it always did for me. This has led me to being best friends with my first love but also to definitely not being friends with my second love. And most importantly: that I dont think about them all the time and can let go while letting them still hold special places in my heart.
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1) Express: All the pain you feel, let it out - cry, scream, punch, shake your body - it is all energy which needs to be released from the body and will help your healing
2) Process: If you are no contact with your ex, write down in a letter (with a pen on paper, not a keyboard) everything you wish you could say to your ex. Then, once itās all out - destroy it.
3) New: Remove familiar things of your relationship out of your home. Rearrange the furniture in your bedroom and buy some inexpensive home furnishings to change the aesthetic of the room. Start a new hobby, visit new places and start listening to new music you havenāt tried before.
4) Play: Donāt avoid pain but do distract from it sometimes - be around funny and pretty places people and things (these things were joyful regardless of your ex and they will be joyful again for you soon)
Apr 17, 2024
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This is so hard and different for everyone, Iām 2ish years post big break up and sometimes I feel consumed with thoughts about it all, other times itās out of my mind.
I suggest you fill your time!! I took up running, yoga, pottery, got a new job, got a cat, I try to travel, I date good amount even if I know Iām not ready for a BIG relationship I just want to keep meeting new people.
if You feel the need to talk about it but you canāt maybe try journaling or therapy? I write the worst poetry in the world whenever I canāt stop thinking of him and it gets me out of that cycle.
Love and life and heartbreak is hard and beautiful and shitty and fun!! if youāre still thinking about this person and relationship so long after, maybe you need to keep learning from it or maybe you need to cut yourself some slack!!
Mucho loveo
Oct 7, 2024
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for me it has been helpful to frame it as getting through heartbreak rather than over - iāve felt it is more of a journey rather than having an identifiable threshold or fixed point of being āoverā the person. so - these are my main recommendations for things to do to get through the heartbreak:
this isnāt true for everyone, but for me and most people i know, one of the worst things for processing is being around the person a bit right afterāitās like making your emotional process and brain not be on the same pageāso space is probably the #1 thing i recommend as being useful to fully processing that youāre not together romantically.
music (also films/shows too) can help you feel seen and understoodāheartbreak is a unique type of hurt. i have like 3-4 playlists from different heartbreaks i have been thru lol!
journaling, to process your emotions solo, though sometimes adding a therapist is needed!
hobbies (solo or with friends) so you can find ways to do positive & engaging things in your increased spare time! spend some extra time being in love with yourself. ā¤ļøāš©¹
source: my personal misfortunes, trials, & tribulations in love
May 22, 2024
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Oct 13, 2024
I mostly do selfportraits with watercolours inherited from my mum and greatgrandma. I find that it helps me process and communicate emotions + it's easy to get reference pictures. (i also draw other people, like lovers and friends, sometimes)
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