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Two days ago while in a daunting line at an airport, I heard one silver-haired man say to another about Hurricane Helene that just devastated parts of the US:
"When the hurricane came off the gulf it hadn't picked up any water, but somehow it rained over sixteen inches."
"You know they can control the weather now. You've never heard of weather manipulation?"
"Their target was Spruce Pine in North Carolina. Every single computer chip in the world has a crystal that comes from there."
"They are trying to control things politically because of the election."
"You heard about what they did with the wildfires in Hawaii using the lasers from space?"
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Okay, confession: my first impulse is that I wanted to text someone or post somewhere about the wacky conversation I'd just overheard: about how people are so gullible or, more generously, isn't it crazy how we can so easily find ourselves in these narrow algorithmic internet bubbles that keep us in a perpetual rabbit hole reality.
But instead, I remained curious. Not necessarily curious about the content of what this guy was saying, though it turns out that some of his facts may have been on target, even if his conclusions seem way off base—the thing about chip manufacturing and Spruce Pine, for instance, was widely reported.
But I held curiosity instead about him as a person and about me and about all of us.
I wondered: how did he get there with these beliefs? Has it impacted his life and relationships? What are holiday conversations like for his family?
And what about me: surely there are absolute certainties that I'm believing right now that may turn out later to have been wrong — am I holding those in a way now that invites feedback and conversation or am I doubling down and become narrower and less approachable?
And also about all of us: we are all wrong about some things. If we weren't, there'd never be any space for learning and growth. So knowing that, about me and about you, how can we live in a way that both honors our current state while keeping a posture of teachability?
Oct 8, 2024
Related Recs
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It really cheeses me off when people think they know what others are thinking or what makes them tick or what their motivations are for something.
Recently heard someone say, "Oh the whole reason 'Brad' did good at [this thing] is because he got social validation from his success."
And I said, "Oh really, did Brad tell you that?"
And of course the answer was no, Brad never said that. It was just a great big assumption about Brad's motives—and a negative assumption at that.
You contain multitudes. I contain multitudes. We contain multitudes.
We are right now the living, breathing, growing sum of a trillion different factors. It is far more interesting and fulfilling to be curious and ask and be surprised than to project our narrow, limited assumptions on others.
(apparently this is a bit of a theme for me today since I already posted about it in another form)
And if you find yourself mind reading and assuming and putting others in a box, then you know what, no worries! Me too sometimes. But let's not stay there.
Oct 19, 2024
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Remember that, smart alecks!
Some more of my core guiding principles around this idea:
Truth and fact are two sides of the same coin.
They are interconnected but not interchangeable.
On a similar note:
Truth is complex and often paradoxical.
If you think you can lay it out in black and white terms, sorry bud – you don’t have a handle on it. The capacity to hold space for seemingly conflicting ideas is essential. That means letting go of the idea that your truth is the truth.
Critique something/someone only from a place of understanding
^ did a whole rec on this. To add to it: if you spend a lot of time criticizing those who you disagree with, whose benefit is it for? Mainly it’s a signifier to those who you do agree with that you’re part of the same in-group. That’s fine and it has its place, but constructively challenging the views and behaviors of those within your own community (including yourself!) is much more valuable.
And on that note:
Understanding ≠ condoning
Most people skip the work of trying to truly understand because they’re afraid they’ll seem complicit. Say someone commits a violent crime. Trying to understand the familial, socioeconomic, and systemic circumstances that factored in – developing empathy for this person – does not mean you condone the behavior or that you care any less for the victim of their crime. You are not doing any good to the cause of peace of justice or whatever you claim to stand for by refusing to understand people (however fucked up and misguided they may be).
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Ok that’s long enough, maybe I’ll drop some fun ones in another post lol bye
Jul 17, 2024
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is indifference the trend now? it seems like the moment someone shows genuine interest in something, they’re met with the same dismissal as a child asking one too many questions—I'll explain later. but later never comes
yesterday in literature class, something clicked. I finally grasped the scientific reasoning behind a certain work, and it fueled me, inspired me to discuss interpretations with my peers. but when I spoke up, I was met with silence—a subtle, unspoken cue to keep my thoughts to myself
in that moment, I felt embarrassed, even stupid, for wanting to dig deeper. but later, I realized they might have just wanted some peace after a long lesson. maybe it wasn’t about me at all…
however, this wasn’t an isolated moment. time and time again, when I try to have meaningful conversations about things I truly care about, the response is often the same: why are you even thinking about this? why does it matter?
somehow, not caring has become the golden standard. indifference is effortless, and effort is something to be mocked. it’s "cool" to disengage, to float through school without interest, to never give things a second thought. and those who do care? they’re met with resistance, as if their curiosity itself is an inconvenience
the whole chill guy persona and the propaganda of nonchalance do more harm than we realise. we glorify the effortlessly cool, detached observer—the person who never tries too hard, never gets too invested, never asks too many questions. passion is seen as cringe, enthusiasm as uncool, and intellectual curiosity as trying too hard. and yet, it’s exactly this mindset that holds us back
when we stop seeking, we stop growing. when we refuse to ask questions, we accept what we’re given without ever challenging it. nonchalance might feel safe—it protects us from judgment, from looking foolish, from admitting we care—but it also makes us stagnant. it robs us of the thrill of discovery, the depth of connection, the joy of truly understanding something
so maybe it’s time to let go of the chill guy persona and the nonchalant act. it’s time to embrace caring—deeply, unapologetically, wholeheartedly. because the world doesn’t move forward on indifference. it moves forward on those who dare to be curious and whimsy…
Feb 26, 2025
Top Recs from @mattshawsome
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this is worthy of celebration: the lack of video—autoplay video, noisy inane video, panicky video, algorithmic, dumb video, rabbit hole video, any video—on pi.fyi is a good thing
Oct 5, 2024
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this is going to hurt — A LOT — but it's getting to the point where there's no other option
2d ago
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one of my 2025 habit goals
alone or with others, it is the best
Jan 21, 2025