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i just read someone's linkedin update and it made me think.
a girl who graduated in motion design now felt too confined by branding guidelines, 6 months after working in that sector, now transitioned to being a motion artist with capital A.
after reading her reasoning, i see her as such now. i think that it's important that when you're trying to become something or be someone, it's important to dare to call yourself what you are. am i making sense? i didn't sleep much last night..
Oct 15, 2024
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been feeling v compelled lately to practice self-respect in the form of dedicating time and energy into honing my creative skills despite the loathsome grind of my 8 - 5 job.
i spent a lot of time and money and emotional energy to get the job i have now and i don't hate what i do but i do know that there's more to all of this beautiful life than playing it safe and getting sucked into a monotonous cycle.
loving and respecting myself means devoting myself to my higher aspirations. deep down i know my soul glows brightest when i create and i'm seen thru that work.
i'm on a ferocious pursuit to brighten that glow every day and i hope you are too if you feel that same impulse.
Feb 13, 2024
i forgot my headphones at home. i was about to either
1) pump black country new road
2) watch brooklyn 99.
i miss being passionate about things, not being able to sleep, eat, speak,
or fathom anything beyond the apple
of my eye and the fruit of my thoughts.
i miss waking up with one thing in mind, how i would explore it that day, and how i would explore it the next
it’s been people
it’s been sewing
guitar
driving
religion
philosophy
photography
writing
filming
blogging
i think, regardless of any tik tok data explosion with the intention of ripping out each of my brain cells to keep me submissive and docile because of a wrecked attention span, i’m not a girl of her commitments- i get bored.
and i am bored. i feel this lack of passion so deeply in my body, its been a catalyst for the recent crashouts ive had ( and there’s been plenty) i don’t know how to stay, and work hard, and allow myself to grow to what i want to be right in this instance. not to shine my own shoes, but i’m not super used to being bad at things. i’ve always always always coasted, and now that im trying to be a gaf (give a fuck) filled girl, ive realized, sucking at something hurts a lot more when you’ve put in the work to be good at it.
if it wasn’t me writing this, and my best friend called me and told me this word for word, i would tell her how normal that feeling was, and that she herself knew what to do; commit. and that is my advice, dear sweet amalia, commit, commit, commit.
Feb 18, 2025
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Ahhh shit. Ahhhh shiiiiittt see the being naïve was all good when it was just sort of general and I didn’t have anything specific in mind, just blind faith, posting my little mouse in the suit. All full of joy and shit. But you know what I’m posting my misery too in case anyone is praying on my downfall out there that’s how much I believe in karma and something larger than myself now, if I’m in the pits someone should get joy out of it. Ahhh shiiit whatever this cosmic power running things is, I hope she likes weird art bc that’s my offerings. What if she’s into basquiat rip offs and drama less photorealism and I’ve been shit talking that too. Or globalist blobby corporate design. Ahhh shit man who gets certified to teach English abroad off of 1 Reddit post of research I blew a bag and have been doing grammar for 3 months for nothing ahhh shit
3d ago
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i feel like a massive hypocrite writing this, but im gonna be honest..
the past year i've been constantly listening to/watching youtube videos and ig reels in order to fill the silence. just loads and loads of useless information and empty talks.
last night i realized that doing so has been keeping me from thinking about stuff, listening to music and in general, being productive. i was filling my head with useless noise so i wouldn't think. it ended up being a comfortable bubble of bullshit that was hard to break out of.
today i stopped the video, grabbed my notes of things i want to DO and played some music in the background. felt much better. i might relapse— i have many times, but im tired of being a vertically scrolling thumb (again).
Aug 16, 2024
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i used to ride my bicycle/take public transport all the time, but walking is really good actually! it slows down the wildness of modern life, shows you small things you would otherwise drive past. its all around a good idea if you have time to spare of course. great for calming down, thinking, good for relieving stress, good for meeting new people
Feb 29, 2024
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going to the museums in my city, going to events, visiting art schools as a spectator to view their expositions
it gives me this.. je ne sais quoi feeling. like, euphoria and inspiration and hope in a weird combined way. thinking about art, talking about art - and by that i mean anything from jewelry to graphic design, paintings, poetry, (short) film and sculptures. just fills me with purpose unlike anything else.
im watching my sims be succesful artists and im like.. damn i wanna be that.
Mar 9, 2024