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My grandparents’ house, Despite the horrors I’ve written about in the story pinned to my profile

I have a lot of terrible memories that took place there but there are also beautiful memories. they had a comfortable warm and inviting home in the country and in the moments where I wasn’t being confronted with my family dysfunction I felt so normal. They called the bedroom my sister and I would stay in the princess room; it had two twin beds and a huge collection of VHS tapes, board games, and vintage children’s books. When I grew up my boyfriend and I got to stay in the one of the grownup rooms with en suite bathroom, pictured, which was a defining moment for me. I loved waking up before everybody, making coffee in the sun room, sitting there and reading the Dallas Morning News looking out into the garden. My grandfather sold the house before we had our falling-out and they’ve since passed so I couldn’t go back even if I wanted to. — I would also say my paternal grandfather's house, which sat on a huge tract of land with pecan and pomegranate trees which we would pick up off of the ground. An irrigation dam ran behind it. In the winter, I would stomp on the cracked dry earth to break it beneath my feet, and shatter the ice that would form in the bird bath. The walls were lined with my great grandmother’s pastel art from when she went to finishing school and my grandmother’s embroidery pieces. There was a wood paneled library with smoke-stained classic books, many of which I have with me today. My dad and his brother had a play room painted in primary color blue, yellow, and red, and my sister and I could play with all of their old toys and look at their old books. My grandmothers glass shoe and bell connection as well as her vanity set had all been left exactly as they were and I would admire them every time we visited. She died before I was born but I always felt a strong connection to her and I would love to have space to display her collections someday! And I adored my grandfather who had been so prickly with my father and his brother but was so sweet to me. He would always give me porcelain dolls he bought on QVC. his house smelled like rotten bananas because he would buy them and forget to eat them. He died when I was about six years old and I said why couldn’t it have been my other grandfather that died (lol). I miss him a lot and I think he would be proud of me! 🫶 — Oh and my mom‘s dead gay best friend Jackie’s house which he shared with his partner Aaron, a sculptor who was close friends with Cormac McCarthy. I learned everything about sophistication in decor from them and their house was my favorite place on earth. He would have a huge Christmas party every year and go BALLS TO THE WALL DECORATING; other professors from the university and artists would hobnob and I would eat inappropriately too many hors d’oeuvres (he would get all of his charcuterie and shrimp cocktail from COSTCO). His kitchen had black and white checker board floors with cherry red accents and Betty Boop decor. I miss him so much too!!!

@taterhole

Jul 18, 2024

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This is hard for me to answer!

Because these are the moments I cherish most in life, and they feel so integrated into who I am that it’s hard to recall them individually… * Going to reclaimed lumber yards, architectural salvage shops, quarries, plant nurseries, and the DUMP with my dad in his bright red '90s GMC Sierra. * Going to the alpaca farm with my family and seeing my mom get her hair eaten by a camel (see below photo which is a picture of a picture of our ancient family dome iMac—my dad managed to immortalize this moment forever. I’m the one with the denim hat). * Snow in the desert… almost never happened, but when it did, it was a big deal, so it’s still special to me every time I see snow living up north. * Every moment I spent with my dearly departed childhood pets and my own three pets that have passed. I feel lucky to have documented my time with my pets so thoroughly, so I can look back and remember every little moment. * Going to my grandparents’ house on the lake in the DFW area for Christmas. Before my grandmother developed dementia, she had a distant, chilly WASPish demeanor but showed her love through her homemaking. They had a beautiful home with the most relaxing and cozy atmosphere. I loved waking up early with her and my grandfather before everybody else, pouring a cup of freshly percolated coffee, and sitting in the sunroom reading the Dallas Morning News as the sun came up. The ticking of their clocks and the sounds of them puttering around in the kitchen, starting some elaborate breakfast, put me at ease. I had a very complicated relationship with my grandfather, to say the least (which you can read about in the attached link—I tried to embed it in this parenthetical but the link window is broken), but their house gave me a feeling of being home that I never had anywhere else.

@taterhole

Nov 28, 2024

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I gave away everything i owned that didn’t fit in my subaru crosstrek to move 2,000 miles away

So I only have one small print from my past life. I’ve had no motivation to decorate my pod since moving here because the space does not inspire me but I did buy this print because it reminded me of my cat Dolly. She suddenly passed away last year shortly after her first birthday from complications of FIP (feline infectious peritonitis) a viral illness for which there is no prevention or cure. I have the print sitting on a shelf near my espresso machine in the kitchen and now every time I look at it, it feels like she’s here with me watching me ❤️

@taterhole

Apr 30, 2024

Top Recs from @madhearts

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growing older

“how can a person know everything at eighteen, but nothing at twenty-two” life truly humbles you. as you start growing older, you stop only chasing the big things, and start valuing the little things too. being able to weave stories of experiences and begin applying them—integrating the lessons and learning curves. in the past few hours of being eighteen, ive learnt how limited our time on earth truly is. i was advised (perhaps even lectured) that i shouldn’t try to defy nature’s course with futile attempts to “age gracefully”, but to rather age with mischief, audacity and a good story to tell. beyond grateful for the love that surrounds me, and the love that i am bound to give out.

@madhearts

Dec 22, 2024

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Pain is Inevitable, but misery is optional

An ideal world is one that knows no pain. That, sadly, is not the one we live in. Pain is a part of the human experience—but failure to move on from it makes you miserable. If you dwell too much on what has happened, you will never be fulfilled enough to see all the good you have/ that is to come. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of a situation. ‘And in fact, it’s time to forsake someone else’s idea of what gives you a spark or no spark. Block the “other” from the picture. No more audience. Just you.’ Whether you choose to take that responsibility (of acceptance), or give it up to the disappointments of life, you return to yourself. The choice is whether to wallow in the misery of that pain, or take it as it comes and look at what it has to offer you.

@madhearts

Jul 18, 2024

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Tracking your listening habits

“woman says ‘i love this song’ after every song on her own playlist” (core) i always notice music; music is what feelings sound like. because it has to, the world will change—and people will too. naturally, one of my favorite parts of the year is between late november and early december: spotify wrapped season. keeping track of people’s listening habits (to figure out whose allowed on aux) has always been a nosy pleasure of mine. i never want to lose connections to change; music allows me to sever those relations—“you listen to catherine wheel?”… “i didn’t know you were into fiona apple too!”—it’s a great way to form bonds. music connects people. i for one relish in this understanding. i, unfortunately, am an impatient person and cannot wait until the end of the year. i take this ngenart quiz monthly to record my own listening analytics as i continue to delve deeper into this interest, and share them casually in hopes that others will join in.

@madhearts

Oct 26, 2024

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