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i don't have degree/exp or sum. but i've always wanted to do all creative things i like, wanted to live like an artist. i rent a cheap office and listened people for order of advertising agency (it also was founded by me and my brother lol). it looked like that movie scenes when characters also assign a casting and all freaks come... some people are very motivated and inspired! i want to ask some of them to shoot music videos and smth (i'm also musician) do you think they'll like that? i realized if you're broke or from nowhere you still may do what you like and you can come place you dreamed about. i really feel that i can do everything...
Oct 28, 2024

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ever since 11th grade i have wanted to make films i find them beautiful, artistic, complicated and horrifying all at once i have always had a problem with self doubt and underestimating my abilities but any time i do something related to film i do it with love, fierce devotion and hard work and it still amazes me that the work i do comes out great every time i know that i could never ever do anything else with my life
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last night i was in a cafe and i was very high, the waiter brought me a milkshake in a faceted glass.... somehow i always notice that in cafes: faceted glasses give you immense vibe of old european cinema... like 70x french movies... does anyone feel the same?
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first listened to it in october/november (shitty gloomy weather) after break up, i returned home at 3am from some bar for morons. couldn't sleep so i just sat down on the floor right in front of subwoofer and started to listen to it. i can't remember the last time i sat motionless and just listened to a music album. my dimly lit bedroom turned orange, i felt hot sunny wind, smelled slight weed (that didn't change). yeah, i was listening some stories from 70s man, but it didn't matter, cause i found myself in my own built and living world. i could see it clearly like i couldn't see at all... pure music no visions but innervisions
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