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I have a coworker who is an older man, close to retirement. He used to be homeless but got a job in our greenhouse where he helps us wash our plastics and sanitize houses. Heās covered in faded traditional tattoos and mysterious scars. Weāve nicknamed him āPops.ā His real name is the same as my brotherās. He constantly shares things with me and looks out for me on days when Iām running around in a panic. Occasionally he shows up in a MAGA hat and my boss has to remind him that we canāt wear anything political at work.
This morning I was mixing soil and sneezed and he said ābless youā and offered me an orange. Tbh I wanted to be angry at him today, but it all melted away. Itās really easy to soothe our discomfort by vilifying others. Itās harder to recognize that people are a unique result of millions of factors and genes and events colliding over generations.
Was thinking about the task of love today (it can be a task!! šµāš«) and thought of this bell hooks quote from All About Love, āWhen we choose to love we choose to move against fearāagainst alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connectāto find ourselves in the other.ā š§” Sending love to y'all today š«
Nov 6, 2024
Related Recs
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Sometimes I get caught up chasing ideals of love. Growing up with immigrant parents in the US, I wished my parents showed me love the way my friends' parents did. My parents seemed cold in comparison to the affection I saw my friends receiving. I fell for best friends who did love me but never enough and never in the ways I wanted them to.
Nowadays I have grown to appreciate the ways in which my parents do show me love -- when they ask if I've eaten or when I dye my mom's hair as she peels me oranges. Friendship to me no longer needs to be tied up in such rigid binaries. It's not the label of a relationship I'm after but rather just the intimacy of knowing other people. I try not to focus so much on how I wish to be loved by other people and instead pay attention to all the different ways I am loved. Acting with a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And in that way, everything feels enough.
Disclaimer: Establishing boundaries is paramount. Love that is corrosive or manipulative is not love.
Feb 1, 2024
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It is soooooooo hard to believe in these days when everyone is set on villainising one another because thatās just easier than empathising or understanding, and then also to not use this to slip into an āI can fix himā mindset. But I am a bell hooks babe and I believe that the true power of love is to transform us. To be loved is to be CHANGED!!!!
May 3, 2024
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love is beautiful. love is pure. love is enduring.
iām not sure if my standards for love are too high, but i worry i donāt mean it. iād change my character, overcome weaknesses for those i say it to, yet it never feels like enough. i want to embrace someone not only through touch, but through the warmth of my actions and presence.
love knows no bounds. i want to break every single wall a person can put up. still, i know there are limits to love. love is undefinedāit is not a singular, universal concept for every person. i fear i can never truly portray my love for another without everything crashing down, whether due to the walls weāve built to shield ourselves from the world or to passing circumstances.
maybe iām not concerned about my feelings for others. maybe the words āi love youā donāt quite serve me justice. still, from this new perspective, itās an affectionate, enkindling acknowledgement to give anotherāakin to kissing your loved one on the cheek each morning before leaving for work.
love: a word that can be used for anyone, whether platonically or romantically. we really should say these words shamelessly to those around us every day. itās a marvel to think over what true love means to you and how it can vary from person to person. i think this is what makes it beautiful.
your idea of love will fit into anotherās idea of love. i hope everyone who reads this is lucky enough to find that person they mesh together with.^^
4d ago
Top Recs from @sillygirltypebeat
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āwhoās that voracious reader in the cool fitā - librarians probably
Jul 31, 2024
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Shyness is nice and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life that youād like to !!!!!
Jan 28, 2025
A website of forest recordings sent in from people all over the world āØšš§ My friend texted me a link to this last night and I fell asleep listening to it.
The photographs that accompany the recordings are stunning š„¹ Highly rec for anyone feeling the eco-doom š«
5d ago