Ok essay incoming but Iām the same way and this advice is assuming that you have tried various ways to remind yourself of things (physical notes, reminders, alarms, schedules, to-do lists, whiteboards, etc) and struggled to respond consistently to this kind of stimuli. If youāre not already reminder-maxxing I recommend seeking out the most effective method for you to be unable to ignore the reminders. Might have to change over time as you become desensitized to one kind.
Once youāre seeing the reminders daily, the struggle is then acting on them. Seems obvious but sometimes when Iām struggling to complete a task or to do it regularly/form a routine, it helps to zoom in on my reasons for wanting to do it at all. Sure, running every day will make me burn fat and improve my cardiovascular health etc etc etc but sometimes for me with my neurodivergence those long term goals are too lofty and too postponable. Instead it really helps me to think about what kind of immediate reward I will get for completing a task or repeating a taskāsometimes the immediate reward is just an immediate reward (āif I go for a 15 min run Iāll feel endorphin release ā) and sometimes itās the removal of a punishing factor (āif I go for a 15 min run Iāll avoid the shame and anxiety of not doing the thing I said I was going to do todayā. thereās a term for this in operant conditioning but I forget what it is). This is why for the really important stuff, I opt for a loud annoying alarm because one can only handle so much snoozing or postponing before it becomes easier to just do the thing.
Another piece of advice would be to harness the initial anxiety that a reminder prompts and act on it as quickly as possible, before the anxiety turns from motivating to crippling and before you can think of excuses/justifications for avoiding rather than acting.
I hope this helps! Iām far from perfect with this stuff and always having to adapt to my own ability to fall back but this has been the most consistently useful approach for me.
Nov 8, 2024
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you get me. my motivation does turn to anxiety which does become crippling. ill try reminders with a new sound and see if I can think more about outcome than the task. <3
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stray example: when i lived at my last place i set my phone alarm to only deactivate when i scanned a qr code in the bathroom down the hall - meaning that by the time i actually made it there, it was easier for me to just start getting ready for the day instead of going back to sleep.
identify the things that sap your willpower and engineer ways to make them really fucking annoying to engage with. then, find the things that you actually *want* to engage with and find ways to make them as effortless as possible.
eventually you will find that you get in the habit of doing the right thing often enough that it becomes your natural instinct and not something you have to specifically try to do. this has a compound effect over time - generally shit that is good for you has positive externalities that make it easier to do other things that are good for you.
Mar 5, 2025
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adhd architecture students rise! realising i need to lure myself into getting out of bed and working with a treat. the idgaf stage of a 3 year burnout is crazy
Mar 13, 2024
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Iāve had periods where Iāve really struggled with this too. Before I give my rec, I want to emphasize that I think we all experience cycles in our behavior where we āmake progressā (whatever that means for you!) and then we donāt - and thatās really okay. I would start by figuring out if your body is physically okay. Lethargy/fatigue is a biological response to a lot of different things and it may be the result of unexpected health stuff! So donāt discount a doctorās visit. But mental health/stress really contributes to this for me, and it is often the biggest thing that breaks my healthy routines. This is where the loop comes in: healthy routines combat stress, but stress breaks up healthy routines. So that first day you start the healthy routine cycle is really important! For me healthy routines start with good sleep hygiene. If youāve been rotting in bed a lot and your sleep cycle is screwed, re-establishing that may be difficult. I would recommend supplementing your body with physical movement - preferably something rigorous (for your level) but also gives you joy!! No boring gym time - do whatever gives you endorphins. Consistent activity is really key for your body to not fall into a doom loop. And lastly, do the things you need to do to combat your stress. Set yourself up so that you feel you are taking meaningful steps towards progress. Start with the small stuff and donāt discount them!!! Often the small tasks are the ones that break us because they seem innumerable (for me itās always been folding laundry). But just remember, every small thing you do is progress and that will build your momentum.
I believe in ya! You have the power to change this, slowly but surely.
May 13, 2024
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āBone broth thisā āLiquid IV thatā ok well consider: pocari sweat š¤š§ the thinking manās electrolyte beverage. no idea whatās in this shit but tastes great and makes me feel slightly less like shit. Great for if ur like me and find drinking water for survival/regular organ function āboringā and ālacking whimsyā
Nov 7, 2024
Nov 7, 2024
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-Day pass at da sauna. This is my big āu deserve a breakā ticket item as itās expensive. but going back and forth from cold plunge < > sauna fixes me for at least a few days.
-Pastry, specifically at Librae or Radio while in nyc. Anything flaky, really. Iām a raging slut for anything croissant-like or forged from puff pastry.
-Bad tv... speaks for itselfā¦ its like a punishment and a reward rolled into oneā¦..
-Books and records I guess. Any physical media shopped-for in person since itās kinda the experience itself thatās the ātreat yourselfā rather than just the item
-Taco Bell. Similar to bad tv, this one is something that feels somewhat self destructive so I only let myself have it if Iām already depressed. Like if I already feel bad how much worse could Taco Bell make it? Oh Iāll shit my pants? Ok well maybe then Iāll have something *real* to worry about instead of existentialism or metacognition about the existentialism or whatever useless grievance has me in the doldrums that day.
Nov 8, 2024