Look, first and foremost, itās normal to want to look cool. We all want to fit in, be accepted, be validated and feel like we belong, itās a natural human thing.
But the only way out is through. You have to accept and love yourself. You have to embrace your cringe, and your wonders, and your quirks. You have to learn to be proud of them. You have to validate yourself and understand that by choosing to be you, you will lose some things. Maybe some friends, maybe some validation. But you will get so much more. Thereās nothing cooler than someone who is unafraid of being who they are. Thatās the key, I guess. And itās freaking hard, so itās a process. Just start with the basics. Dress how you want to dress, look how you want to look, and experiment with it, see how you feel, face the rejection with open arms. Be cringe, but be authentic.
Nov 18, 2024
Related Recs
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do it for the bit!
worst case scenario? they donāt like you (thats ok!). maybe you didnt gain anything but you certainly havent lost anything either... actually id still argue that you *have* gained something by allowing yourself the self compassion to be imperfect (heh heh).
best case scenario? youāre with good company and as time goes on with said good company, you realize what you perceive to be flaws are really not flaws at all, but a part of the wonderful weave of traits and quirks that makes up you (and everyone else too!) just maybe with a little less confidence.
rest assured, the confidence can be worked on. but attracting the life you want with people who inspire you and fill your heart with the warmth of 1000 suns starts with you being your most beautiful & authentic self! warts and all!
weirdos n freaks rise up!
Jan 29, 2024
My favorite thing in getting to know new people is finding out the things they enjoy that seem a bit out of character. I think itās comforting and a bit sexy when not everything that they like has to be ācoolā for them to really enjoy it. Being self-assured and knowing your worth is hot.
After all, life is too short to try and shape yourself around a mould that doesnāt truly resonate with you. Just enjoy the things that bring you joy without caring if they are basic or lame to others. you can enjoy the band that everyone hates, enjoy the movies that people think are overrated, and wear the shirt that went out of style 5 years ago.
true authenticity is a rare trait, always has been. Itās like striking gold when you find that inner peace to just be yourself, regardless of how cringy others find it. Find the peace to like what you like without shame.
Feb 20, 2025
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Iāve been in the same boat. Since I was 13 I became really self conscious of my appearance, mainly due to other peopleās comments, and then that was exacerbated from 16-18 during college because people got meaner for some reason. I felt terrible, and the lockdowns unexpectedly saved me as it gave me a break from all those people.
It made me realise I should only stick with people who like me for who I am, not how I look. Then ignore all those comments and ignore those people, make them feel awkward for saying those things if they do. Even if people arenāt saying comments, just think less of what others think of you.
You are what you are, donāt try to change your appearance just to please people who might not care much about you in the first place. Donāt let your appearance bring you down, ignore those annoying flaws and be more confident to outshine any imperfections you think you might have. Donāt be afraid to do things you enjoy and spend time with new people.
Ofc others may have different advice as my problems are either impossible to change or very difficult to, so Iāve learned to be content with how my body is, and just play with the hand Iāve been dealt (which unfortunately means Iām not perfect at this and for instance still wear more clothes than others during the summer). But Iām generally very happy now with lots of good friends who like me for who I am.
Jan 25, 2025
Top Recs from @matestinha
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No more instagram / snapchat filters
No more tiktok beauty settings
No more distorting your sense of self
Letās quit filters cold turkey and normalize looking normal again
Jan 3, 2025
Aug 12, 2024
Bram Stokerās Dracula in newsletter format, each journal entry is sent to your inbox on the same dates Jonathan Harker wrote them. Iāve only learned about it half way through the whole thing last year so Iām trying again and itās been super fun to read the book like that. They started on May 3rd so thereās still time to catch up!
May 9, 2024