I turned 21 in february 2020, so, ya know. My world changed quick.
But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things.
I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future.
The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world.
I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace.
And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself.
u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is.
x
