I’ve experienced 5 birthdays for ages ending in zero and none of them marked a big turning point in my life *
What I’ve realized, and other people have agreed with, is that no adult age has felt like I assumed it would be when I was young. 30, 40, 50… I’m still me. Less hair and more prescriptions, but still me.
Ages will mean as little or as much as you decide they do. If you want turning 30 to mark a change in your life, go for it! Want to forget about it? It’s forgotten. Life doesn’t organize itself by decades or years.
Do takeadvantage of every opportunity you have, though: go places, exercise, meet people, take care of your body. Those kinds of things get more difficult with age.
Also, don’t stop looking for new music.
*well I bought a car when I was 30 and drove it for 20 years, but the timing was just coincidence
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Happy birthday! You have a great batch of years ahead of you, the best yet. I'm biased, but it's been my favorite decade so far (every year is better than the last, the idea of "peaking" is for chumps). Some thoughts!
Group trips - when you say "we should go to X someday," or "we should rent a house" "we should do a day trip to this cool thing or this sculpture garden" actually do it. Blow up the group text, have everyone agree on a day or week or a weekend and make it happen. People will start thinking about "settling down" and "having families" which makes everything that much harder to plan (depending on who your friends are -- I have friends with kids who still do it all). But do those trips, because they're really fun.
Cooking - get some nice staple kitchen stuff and start cooking. Cook for yourself, for dates, for friends, cook together.
It's ok to let go - Don't burn bridges if it's not toxic, but it's ok to let friendships fade if you've outgrown them and it's ok to recognize them for what they are. Sometimes you will grow together and sometimes you will grow apart. It's alright to let someone become an acquaintance. It can also be very hard to accept, but know that whatever you feel, it's ok.
Old friends - some people have known me through so many different phases of my life. Cherish those old friendships, and make the effort to deepen them. Keep doing those long phone calls, take a weekend to spend together, travel to see a concert together, be there for birthdays and other life events. Those relationships are really special. Same goes for family if that's possible.
Stay curious - you're on this app, so you're already curious. Keep reading, watching, hobbymaxxing. Keep trying things on and checking things out to see if you like them. Learn new stuff. That's not just for your thirties, that's for life.
Stretch and take care of your body - it’s your precious vessel. That's also for life.
Jun 6, 2024
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I’m about to turn 30 and idk if my 21 year old self would approve of where I’m at—but my 6 year old self sure as hell would!! I think a lot of life is finding your way back to Little You.
Being 21 is so so hard, and in college you’re first starting to see that you can’t judge your progress based on other people. Even though that’s how you were taught to judge yourself up until this point. The things you want now probably won’t matter to you in a few years, and for me that would have sounded terrifying at 21. But that doesn’t mean the things you want now aren’t important.
You can think of it in terms of tattoos. If you get a tattoo at 16 it’s not because you know it will represent you always and forever—it’s to commemorate a moment, a feeling of boldness you wanted to wear proudly. And down the line you don’t look at it with regret, but a softness for that younger part of you. Feel your feelings fully in this moment! Be bold with what you care about! Every age is special.
Practical advice:
Try to listen to your body and not your head. Do I actually like how I feel spending time with this person? Am I going through the motions of this hobby because I think it will service something else? Does xyz come naturally to me, or does it feel forced? No action needed. This exercise isn’t about flipping your life upside down, just take notice of how your body feels in certain situations. Start to notice when you’re in fight or flight versus happy and free. Find the ease and follow it
Jan 25, 2025
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Being in your 30s and 40s isn’t old as you probably picture. Now, if you have a family and a mortgage you’ll have more responsibilities. And your body might not be what it once was. But mentally, I don’t feel different. I completely forget I’m not the same age as people in their 20s when I interact with them.
To answer your question, I suggest sorting the things that you only can do when you have fewer responsibilities (traveling for a long stretch, moving to a new city, quitting your job, working out and exercising). Do those things now, and remember you can do a lot in the decades to come, too (e.g., I didn’t start going to concerts until I was 40)
(Also, I sincerely apologize to everyone in their 20s who is working their ass off just to get by!)
Nov 23, 2024
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I actually practice what I preach on this one 😇
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