"Last night I dreamed about you. What happened in detail I can hardly remember, all I know is that we kept merging into one another. I was you, you were me. Finally you somehow caught fire."
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had this dream a few days ago and i can't stop thinking about it.
i was at this very hippie, psychedelic inspired festival but my mom and some other family member were with me also. we are about to leave when i see this huge building overgrown with moss and vines. it looks like a mayan building, not the usual pyramidal temple like thing but more like the inside of a palace that had the height of about 3 two-storey houses.
i walk closer and closer and see the arc of an entrance that i just know is off limits to the public, perhaps because it leads to their sacred city.
a shaman appears from the entrance, makes his way to the open space where lots of peolpe are gathered now as if we were in a theatre. now the lights are all on the 'stage' shining on him as he starts dancing and doing tricks. he has a bunch of different knives, necklaces and artifacts i can't identify and the show feels magical. however, suddenly a man sneaks up to where the shaman has intricately placed his 'props' and takes them one by one. i am watching in utter disbelief about how disrespectful this is but somehow i have this insight that the robber man has been drugged with something that is making him act completely out of character.
the shaman of course notices what he's doing and asks him to leave and give his things back multiple times in the calmest voice. this is until about the 4th time when the guy is finally escorted out of the place by some club bouncers. because of the time trying to get him off the stage took up, the shaman's show had to end early to get back on schedule for whoever is performing next.
i notice i am now sitting at a table, farther from the stage with some of my family, with my mom's best friend on my left side and her husband on my right. the next show starts and it's a hungarian band singing one of the most popular songs in hungary (unfortunately i can not remember which one they played) but it was interrupted by the drugged man who now appears to be on a stretcher, tied down, he's foaming at the mouth, lips swollen to thrice their original size and his eyes look like he had been crying for hours or as if he was having a serious allergic reaction.
i redirect my attention to the menu/table we're sitting at and my legs feel really cold so i ask dora (mom's friend) if she can give me some of the blanket her and the other people are covering their legs with. the blanket is not long enough so she covers only my left leg and her husband my right with the blanket the other side of the table had too lol
dora then starts apologising for not bringing me any presents, even though she knew i would be here.
i ask my mom if there are any news about my childhood best friend (the neighbour that my parents still live beside) and one of my old classmates from primary school because i dreamt of them 2 days before i was in this dream (i remembered the dream i had while dreaming???!!!). but she says no nothing new except old classmate now has an online brownie store (website is xyzbrownie.data) and sells little cereal shape brownies of all kinds of flavours.
the waiter comes and it's my best friend from hungary and she asks me if we're ready to order but my mom's ex-friend cuts me off and asks for a cappuccino.
abruptly i awaken
Jul 17, 2024
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I was with my ex gf again. We were out getting Thai food, and we’d take breaks from the food to have sex in the bathroom. The sex was wrong. I would put her up on one of those koala care diaper changing stations, pull her underwear off, and perform oral sex on her. We’d go back & eat pad Thai. After having more food, we would go back into the bathroom. This continued for a time.
Something she said to me a few weeks ago, in waking life, right before we split was “You know Jake, on our first date— when you drank all that water & couldn’t stop excusing yourself to the bathroom, I remember thinking ’I could see myself marrying this guy & then divorcing him’“. I thought of her saying that.
In the dream all of our friends joined us at the table after our last trip to the bathroom. We’d sit next to each other, I’d turn to face her, and she’d be gone.
Apr 22, 2024
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also pls keep in mind i wrote this in the middle of the night at like 3am
DREAM
4 men live together in a house in feudal era japan
3 of them dress as women and are happiest when together
they tell jokes and sing and go out to the tea room place where they have tea and gossip
one day the police rush in and kills them except 2 who hid and ran
the police officer steps on the blood of the two men he have killed and then leave
the one who dresses like a woman was left crying and dragging their bodies to i believe die with them
but the other comes out and stops them
they go to the tea shop but the woman dressing one man is obviously upset and angry and saying things like how the police are awful the other man one warns them to stop or they will get in trouble
Jun 14, 2024
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for some reason i think next year is gonna be great
ins:
- getting money
- being able to save that money
- creative workshopping... plotting... planning... developing...
- playing to my strengths and accepting my limits
- writing notes by hand
- sticking to plans and seeing them through, short or long term
- finding new tofu recipes to try
- make more projects im proud of, more consistently
- max chilling
- dumb as hell slice of life anime
- reading curriculum on time
- hitting the theatres a few times a month at least
- loving what i love.... unconditionally and without embarrassment....
- having FUN
outs:
- the fear of wasting my life the second i get time to relax and unwind
- caffeine addiction (only gonna be drinking monster cuz its yummy instead)
- creative jealousy
- fast food
- believing my own desires and interests are unimportant or not cared for
- unstable work/life balances
- greening out
- overthinking what other people think about me
Dec 22, 2024
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the feeling i get after finishing a really good movie or finding a new artist to love
finding joy and inspiration in the achievements of my friends and family, and knowing that they're proud of me like i am proud of them
Dec 22, 2024
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he inhales rather than exhales so it's just this hilarious gasping sound while throwing his hands around, it's also super fun to imitate
Dec 23, 2024