December 2023
edited in February 2024
This year I didnât listen to much music: too many places to be, and I got there too quickly. Iâve been in Australia since December 12th, and have since been doing a lot of travelling. Plane, train, car, bus, boat. I have a lot of love for the in between time of sitting and waiting to get where you need to be. Itâs an excellent purgatory: you donât have to do anything because âtravellingâ is what youâre doing. Doing anything (reading, music, nothing) in that time feels substantial, holds some weightâ makes you feel like youâre doing âsomethingâ but without the pressure of obligation. The fact is, nobody expects you to be productive in a moving vehicle; sometimes Iâd rather not get to my destination.
Context: This 3-week trip was my first solo trip ever, I was 18. I stayed with family so itâs kind of a cheat but I used to get debilitatingly nervous and stupid at airports, so really being alone there was the worst part. I did KL-Sydney-Morisset-Townsville-Brisbane-Sydney-KL. I was in a lot of airports.
Anyway, here are some albums and songs I listened to on that trip.
ALBUMS
Blonde â Frank Ocean
Norman Fucking Rockwell â Lana Del Rey
I havenât ever really listened to new albums when travelling, I prefer to revisit records that I know and love in new settings: Frank Oceanâs Blonde on a plane from Townsville to Brisbane in an electrical storm (which I later found out was classified as a hurricane. Haha shit.), Lana Del Reyâs Norman Fucking Rockwell by an Airbnb pool in sweltering summer heat while the kids are running around and the adults are eating Christmas barbeque leftovers and drinking beer. You get it. I feel like it carves a new facet in the spaces of my brain that these albums already occupy. Itâs a new experience for it. A neat little cross-stitch: Love me here and now like you loved me then and there!!
These artists both have a lot in common to me. I loved them both when I was quite young: thirteen, fourteen. Honestly almost definitely younger but it feels embarrassing to admit that I was a real person with access to the Internet, and thus, âalternative musicâ, by like. 11. Probably even younger. Eugh, we donât need to talk about it. Letâs get back to it. Their lyrics both have that biting realism that can be a bit funny in their candidness at times (âWhy wait for the best when I could have you?â and âDid you call me from a seance? / You were from my past life / Hope youâre doing well bruhâ come to mind). The two can be equally as crushing in their candour at others (âWhy wait for the best when I could have you?â and âDid you call me from a seance? / You were from my past life / Hope youâre doing well bruhâ still come to mindâŠ) These two albums are tried and true loves. Itâs interesting to check in and see what resonates with me and which point in my life because I am the only manipulated variable in this exchange. I would tell you what resonates with me but I can only articulate that trite, vague sense of nostalgia they bring me and the weirdly refreshing feeling of relating to some lyrics that I did not have the experience to before.. Huh, Iâve gone through that now. My heart had never been broken last time I heard this, we were still friends, I was still in high school, whatever. Weird. Thatâs the thing about having music youâve loved throughout the course of growing up, youâll be standing on the other side of childhood at 18 and youâll turn around to look back wistfully on the years behind you only to find yourself face to face with a brick wall. Weâll never be those kids again.
These two albums are also glaringly mainstream but that doesnât bother me much. I enjoy participating in pop culture! đ Ironically, it clearly bothers me enough to feel the need to mention it. Oh, well.
Something To Give Each Other â Troye Sivan
Speaking of Pop, I think Troye Sivan is the Prince of Pop. Honestly, I only started listening to the genre on my own time in the past year⊠I guess I didnât realise you could just listen to music that isnât depressing at home? You can just listen to upbeat music whenever! And not just on the radio? or while on AUX on the way to a party? What a concept!! ANYWAY! My life has been a lot better since Iâve just blasted some Popâąïž tunes in my room instead of earphones-in-to-appreciate-the-mixing-and-stuff music. Not that Iâve ever fully figured out what constitutes good mixing. Or that I have anything against it. Or pop doesnât have good mixing or whatever. POINT IS: I love Pop. I think you should too. Thatâs all Iâm trying to say. Talk to me about Pitbull.
Back to the topic at hand, to quote Pitchfork, the Australian singer is a hedonistic pop hero on an album that pulls together club nights, tender moments, last-call horniness, and eclectic samples with remarkable finesse. Itâs one of those albums that feels like it has perfectly captured a lifeâ weirdly tender moments in the club, and all. This album homogenises so many intense emotions into a sound that is somehow completely cohesive and you just know itâs because it was born out of authentic experience. That lingering vulnerability with complicated people from the past, that rush of adrenaline + maybe something else on a night out, the âpains of being pure at heartâ: Troye Sivan gets it! And it kind of hurts? Letâs dance?!
Summer Death â Marietta
I was on the way to the train station at 2am in the morning, ahead of what was going to be a painful 16? hour journey back to Sydney from Brisbane and Mariettaâs Summer Death was blaring in my ears in hopes of reaching my brain and blowing it to bits so I would just be done with this. I had just spent 4 days drying out in the Queensland sun over Christmas and was two weeks into my being in Australia. I have to admit, I was kinda over it. So this title was appropriate to say the least. Itâs such a terrible thing to be in such a lovely place surrounded by so many lovely people and still missing home so muchâŠ
Suffice to say, when you reach the point of the trip where upbeat pop hits give way to midwest emo, you may be a little homesick. Lol. Sometimes you genuinely just need to listen to some whiny emo man screaming about his inconsequential problems so you can resist the urge to fling yourself out of a moving vehicle and go UGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Take Offs and Landings â Rilo Kiley
One of those albums that makes you gnaw at your lip. I listened to this on the flight home to Malaysia and it made me ache even though the vocals sometimes grate against my ear in an irritating way. Picture of Success and Plane Crash in C were my favourites on this listen. It just felt like the right album to listen to on the plane ride home. No further comment.
SONGS
MGMTâs Time to Pretend
This was THE SONG! of the trip. I had forgotten about this excellent song and then heard it again when I watched Saltburn in the cinema and something in my brain went [click]. I AM feeling rough and raw and in the prime of my life, MGMT! Thanks! I wouldnât be surprised if this makes it high up on 2024âs Spotify Wrapped, it just feels like my life right now. Love love love it.
Sheila Majidâs Ikhlas Tapi Jauh
Sitting alone on a train to my Auntieâs farm near Newcastle, this song started playing and I started quietly crying. This song (among others) is frequently played in the background of conversations with my sister, Mulaika, who I had made this same trip with earlier this year. I stared vacantly at the seat opposite me, I thought about the fact that she would be sitting there if she was here, and I felt so far away and filled with so much love that it was spilling over into my lap. Dah tentu ikhlas tapi masih jauh. :(.
Neil Diamondâs Sweet Caroline (lol)
When they said white people go crazy for this song, they were not kidding!!! I must admit.. not a lot beats being in a crowd and singing: sweeeeeet caroline BAP BAP BAAAAA!! Good times never did seem so good. Thanks, Neil.
Terima kasih.
Best,
Zahara