For me, while i am not in a super creative job force, the big reason I stopped creating is because I felt immense pressure to create for a profit or recognition from people. I felt like I had to do things to be better or comparable to other creators. and then when I put too much time into it with little result, I would become upset.
What I do now is have the expectation in my head that anything I do, I do it for myself and my own amusement. It’s not to sell something, or to gloat about it social media. I just do it to get the creative energy out.
Jan 7, 2025
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And I primarily do it for myself, but hearing that people enjoy things I’ve written is a nice bonus.
I think the act of creation at its base level often stems from a compulsion to externalize and make permanent feelings or ideas that are bouncing around in one’s head because thoughts are so ephemeral like cupping water in your hands, so maybe to create is just pouring it into a glass and looking at it within a contained vessel
Jan 17, 2025
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This may not at all fit your particular situation. Are you employed? A freelancer? Something else? Do you have a boss or clients? Those are all factors to consider.
One path forward is to reframe to make your labor the reward: the work that you do, not the feedback or recognition from others, is where you draw your satisfaction.
Disconnect any sense of self-worth from the work that you do. When your work is not appreciated, that has no bearing on your value and identity. You are not what others say or don't say about your work.
Consider creating things for yourself only. (In addition to the things created in the work and income and project space.) Develop the practice using your gifts to delight yourself, you'll become less needful and attached to feedback from others.
Oct 24, 2024
a lot of hobbies pushed to us are surrounded by consumption. we watch shows, movies. consume albums, buy clothes and items, etc. not that there's anything inherently wrong with consuming, but consumption without creation breeds dullness.
we all have creativity within us. it gets beaten out when there are expections to commoditize your creativity. you feel the need to be the best, to be perfect in the first shot at something.
creation without the expectation of consumption is how we push back. i write poetry, even if it sucks. i drew a pig going to bed in a room full of disproportinately sized furniture because i felt like it. i'm looking to start dancing again.
the world has so much that's yet to be made, and we're blessed with the ability to contribute to that body of art.
Jan 8, 2025
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Feb 10, 2025
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As a child growing up with brothers and as the fat black kid, i never considered myself feminine. Even when i lost weight in middle school and went to an all girls high school, looking girly or being more “feminine” was just not something i thought about.
I feel like recently, i wanted to explore that more, as this pull to dress and appear more feminine has become super strong. Having a house to decorate in any way I can, actually starting to feel better about my body to wear skirts again, etc has really influenced me. But my fears are that it may portray trad wife or child’s play; I’m nervous of stares or being questioned about my views if i were to give such a strong appearance of a girly woman.
But some of my inspirations have been strolling through vintage creators and small japanese insta accounts with super pink and fluffy aesthetics.
Hopefully i will build up the courage
Jan 5, 2025
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i saw something a tad bit politically upsetting this morning through a reposted TikTok, and when i looked up the story in the news, what the TikTok said about this political issue could not be substantiated, but only implied and rumored.
I’m kinda peeved because short form media has really allowed people to become media illiterate and spread things that are either lies or unsupported claims, because they know people aren’t going to read a 3-4 paragraph article on a news site and disseminate information on their own.
Something I have learned in therapy is to kinda look at more things in life as neutral, and not go into black and white thinking before making a decision. Take time to act on something (when it’s possible) and take things at face value most days. Being in an elevated state of emotion when doing something is not usually good.
I just wish other people could do that today, because sometimes it feels like I’m the only person in my realm who can.
Jan 26, 2025