would you be the sea at night, the moon shining on it? sometimes violent? sometimes obedient? vast and dark?
i think thats the scene that i connect with most in nature. the sea and the moon. i want to be that everyday.
i dont mean the colours, though those could well be incorporated and i love wearing black and blue, but mostly the vibe. I'd go for frills, wavy flowy material, bell sleeves, embroidery, all reimagining froth in the sea. I'd go for long dresses, mermaid style. stuff with dyed hues. fabric that collects somewhere or forms deliberate folds (like the neckline). scarves to add dynamic. tiered skirts. wide leg, huge bell bottoms, bell sleeves, loose, big, long. fabrics like satin, velvet, lace, fur, fleece. things that i associate with the sea and the night.
meaning thereby, get philosophical with it, and channel that energy.
(my pinterest board for it is linked beside the ocean emoji)
Jan 18, 2025
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comfort has been my main focus since i was a toddler & i’m trying to honor that intuition in adulthood. i want to feel comfortable in my own skin & wardrobe, which is a challenge as a bigger woman raised in purity culture & fashion as vanity. i’m still most comfortable in modest looks & don't see that changing. the quality & texture of fabric is important to me as well. i don’t like anything that tugs or clings in an irritating way.
i’m also pragmatic so i want functional clothing that will last & i'm trying to build my mending & maintenance skills. i love leather shoes & bags, they’re so warm & classic & durable. i love buying thrifted things that have some life in them already. i love having one-of-a-kind pieces that i can make my own.
i often feel stuck between wanting to express myself through style & wanting to be as nondescript as possible. i like the validation of a good fit but also hate making an entrance. sometimes i’ll put together a look i love & then i’ll swap out one of the elements to ruin it cuz i feel too intimidated. i don’t know if this is because of social anxiety or body image issues or my feelings of not belonging throughout childhood. maybe this is my way of avoiding distraction so i can be present with the people around me.
aesthetics-wise, i love dressing like a fun auntie sometimes (typically in spring/summer) & other times i want to lean more masc with edgy streetwear looks (fall/winter). unique prints are a must, rich earth & jewel tones, classic & sturdy footwear, handcrafted jewelry with a story behind it. idk how to weave together these competing energies of warmth & playfulness, stifled rebellion & hesitant individuality. still trying to identify what i like & give myself space to explore & express that!
May 9, 2024
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my current style is an amalgamation of all that i’ve loved throughout the years of my style evolution and remains ever changing. in highschool, i loved casual and comfy streetwear looks. in college i dressed primarily in pastels and cutesy looks with the occasional dark, romantic element thrown in. i wore uniforms or had strict dress codes for work so i went all out at school since i felt comfy wearing things like classic or gothic lolita looks in the fine arts building. i also discovered mori kei (forest style, she became very important to me later) at this time.
fast forward to now and i’m majorly into the naturalistic and comfy approach. mori kei still has my heart, as i'm nothing but a creature of this earth. i love to juxtapose the masculine and feminine, such as a men’s flannel and a lacy dress. i still love a romantic or gothic element from time to time. as i’ve gotten older, ive began to value slower consumption habits, higher quality/durability and natural fibers. i shop nearly exclusively secondhand now so my style isn’t exactly based in trend.
again, it’s hard for me to give all this a name. i’ve been told artsy, eccentric and hippy-like but regardless i’m comfy and cute! oh, i can’t forget lots and lots of band tees! also no reds or yellows as i have severe yellow undertones and i’m not sure if jaundice-core is a thing yet.
May 5, 2024
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(long winded yap sesh incoming apologies)
i spent waaaay too long a time being spooked by the mere thought of being perceived, and so i tried to blend into whatever group i was meant to believe i should fit into. i honestly think my fashion sense now is a combination of, like, quasi-exposure therapy, bc when you're walking around like a birthday clown u kinda just have to get used to people looking at u, and all that built up frustration with trying to fit in finally being let out, aka me finally just wearing what makes me happy
and i think it's easy to tell bc most of my influences are the things that make me the most happy. obviously there's the color palettes that give very cartoon character, but also i love color coordination and matching sets that also feels in that same vein, also very kitschy
also i wear my real life fashion influences on my sleeve. missy elliott and andre 3000 have always meant a lot to me, but also janelle monae, raja, tierra whack, rihanna, zendaya, grace jones, cl (all of 2ne1 tbh), lady gaga, shea couleé, gwendoline christie, beyoncé, jonte' moaning, etc. and etc. even in my most lowkey outfits, the influences still kinda peek through
but i'm also very influenced by my queerness, and queer culture in general. i think one of the hardest things about having to "fit it" was that i always felt like i had to embody a very cis/heteronormative of what femininity is, and that's just not me (maybe i'm just talking out of my ass, but i feel like there's sort of an understanding that there are differences between queer femininity and cisheteronormative femininity. like if i dress feminine the way that i want to dress feminine, it's not the kind that like a straight guy would want/expect from me). i think it's also just a universal experience that, when u grow up queer, anything that feels like it could accidentally "out" u feels scary, and honestly it feels like i wanna make up for all that time being scared. like, be the person younger me needed back then, y'know? the parts of my life that have made me feel the most me are the queerest; drag, theatre, ballroom culture, dance in general, and that feels more true to who i am
so yeah, idk it's not really like trends for me it's just what makes me happy. tee el dee dubz big princess dress at the grocery store energy
May 6, 2024
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to love and to be loved is how we survive, community is how we continue living. love today and everyday. cherish entities you find comfort in.
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they sound just like my depression did
Jan 4, 2025