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It’s a word that contains multitudes. You can say so much with so little. When things are particularly dire and someone asks how it’s going, you can always elevate things to a “It’s going.”
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Jan 24, 2025

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Top Recs from @zenlikeme

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Prescriptive gender is a prison. Rather than gender being a form of self-expression, gender is treated as a pass/fail test for how well you can conform to cultural expectations. Since I was young, I remember feeling a great deal of pressure to conform to these expectations around what “men” are meant to be. You like sports, cars, womanizing, aggression, and not having feelings. I felt so distant from this ideal. I was sensitive and shy, and I preferred spending my time being creative in some way For a long time, I felt like I was failing at “being a man.” In many ways I was! Because I didn’t need to bea man. All I needed to be was myself. It’s taken me a long time to separate myself from prescriptive gender, sharpening in on which aspects of masculine energy I identify with and which I don’t. I’m not done yet. Maybe I will never fully be. The self continues to evolve over time, and I suspect aspects of my gender will too.
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The guy got my attention with, “Hey, I like your shoes.” Just like that, he had me. We talked about where I bought the shoes and how I used to work in the shoe industry. He used to work in the beer industry but had recently become independently wealthy because of an investment opportunity he started with a few of his friends. ”You get to be your own boss,” he told me. Your boot could be on your own neck. We’re back to the topic of shoes. He told me it’s a small investment to get started but things are really taking off and I could get in on the ground floor. I could quit my job. Work for myself. Had I ever considered doing something like that? “No,” I said with a shrug. I walked away with my jar of peanut butter. I can’t remember if it was creamy or crunchy. Probably crunchy. Nice guy!
Feb 25, 2025