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in my very unimportant opinion, too many adult women are obsessed with
âgirlhoodâ and embracing a âgirlyâ lifestyle and I canât for the life of me understand why they arenât embracing âwomanhood.â are adult women simply afraid of what leaving girlhood behind would mean for them? is it the prospect of the added responsibility that comes from being an adult that keeps them attached to their younger years? or is it just the aesthetics of girlhood that keep them in that mindset? yes when we were girls the world was so open, so new, so mysterious. why should that have to change entirely with age? some women may have more lived experiences and arenât as easily impressed or mystified by things as they were during girlhood, but i think thats all relative to perspective. there are still sensations, mysteries and first times after the age of 25 and even 45 and so on. shouldnât we experience it through the lens of women who have already passed the trials of girlhood? maybe this is just another millennial problem.
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i cannot relate to women who miss their girlhood. when they felt carefree, happy. for me adulthood has been the first time i've experienced feeling carefree and happy. i work an 8:30-5:30 job and I pay my rent and I buy groceries and I take the bus and this is the happiest and safest and least stressed i've ever been. girlhood was awkward and uncomfortable. restrictive and quiet. sexualized. I didn't own my body, my space, my time. i was scared of my dad, i just wanted my mom to understand me. i didn't feel pretty and boys were mean. girls too. womanhood has been freeing and healing. I wear what i want, i eat what I want. my home is so safe, my body is too. i wish i could miss girlhood. but I can't, so I give my adult woman self the joy and safety and pink bedroom walls and stuffed animals and girly dresses she never had as a child. i give myself comfort. i listen to and I believe myself. i hold my inner little girl and tell her she is so beautiful and so loved. i try to give my adult woman self the girlhood i didn't have
May 13, 2024
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and I feel lucky about that; it made me who I am today!
But as an adult woman I can definitely relate and I imagine what it would be like to feel that sense of freedom from being perceived as a woman and the societal expectations that come with that. Sylvia Plath said it best in her journals:
âYes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regularsâto be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recordingâall this is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night...â
I do think though that itâs fruitless to fixate on these things, imagining the grass to be greener on the other side and essentially wishing you could have grown up and lived as another person, because 1 itâs not possible 2 the life you imagine has so many downsides to it too that you canât even imagine not having experienced itself and 3 if you were a different person then the You you are now wouldnât exist, and that would be a shame! I also think men are having a tough time now and many of them are probably just as neurotic, inhibited, and fearful as women.
Obviously people are free to reject these notions and live life as whoever they want, and I respect and appreciate those who choose to do this, but Iâm not interested in doing that for myself. Instead, I challenge the boundaries of what it means to be a woman in the ways that I can, which feels like the right choice for me!
Jun 28, 2024
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i really also think about how much boys are taught ways to perform masculinity & how it is legitimised through tangible things like building a career etc but with women i find that from a young age our identity, behaviours, & thoughts are always spoken about in relation to other people/things â gender roles within the family, how weâre perceived by men, our friendships with other women, our relationships with material things etc etc â and this shows up in the labels that women are often given too! so and so is someoneâs daughter, girlfriend, wife, mother etc etc. i envy the freedom of boyhood so much, the freedom to just be (this is not to discount the toxicity of traditional masculinity, i just think that boys are still afforded more âplayâ and therefore have more opportunities to develop their sense of self).
maybe i am also biased because of how iâve grown up & whatnot but i never really understood what it meant to quote unquote be a woman or perform femininity. i only saw this modelled within my nurturing friendships with women as iâve gotten older but when i was younger, in church it was always âok well donât do this or that because x y z will happen to men if you doâ or within my extended family it was often âare you seeing anyone? when are you having kidsâ. damn what happened to asking about how iâm doing or what my dreams are!!!
long rant sorry !! but thatâs my long winded way of saying âi feel youâ haha
Jun 28, 2024
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Itâs a way to transcend time and to be connected to people in your family you feel you might not easily relate to because of the generational divide, especially if theyâve passed. Itâs a look into their genuine interests and personality, especially if theyâve annotated in the margins. The ability to do this is valuable if you can. I think it builds or strengthens empathy, and gives you a stronger foundation for appreciating your family history. Not to mention youâll likely get an interesting reading experience out of it. The (+) is for great-grandparents and beyond.
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everyone iâve recommended this to has thanked me. listen in full. no track is worth skipping on this one. both lyrically and sonically a work of genius.
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