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I fear we're living in a time where empathy seems to be severely lacking among us. Fear and hatred is shoved into our faces daily if not hourly by the news and other media... it's no wonder we can't seem to connect to other people. I think this ties in with less social media and more real life. Engaging in my friendship circles more, going out of my comfort zone by showing up in person, even if I'm tired. Feeling compassion, connection, and empathy for others goes a long way -- and in a time where a lot of things are out of our control, we can be in charge of dishing out some more love. So I'm working on that.
Feb 7, 2025
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In a world and in a political landscape where it is so easy to despair, looking into the eyes of another human being and really listening while they speak means so much. The more you seek connection with others, the more opportunities for joy and belonging will open up to you. It is so easy to feel downtrodden, isolated and afraid nowadays. My own tendency to isolate in times of stress and sadness has often left me little energy to think outside of myself and my immediate circle. There are times to turn inward, but it is so much more valuable when those times of reflection are met with connection. I, like so many, have had unhealthy ways of coping with my own traumas and grief, my insecurities and broken heart. Over the last year, I have put in real work to better myself, to respect myself, and in garnering this renewed self-love, I've found I have more to give tenfold. Eating well and moving my body really does wonders, gives me more energy and inspiration to take care of myself, and by proxy those around me. I suddenly want to read more, cook more, engage in more meaningful conversation, take on new projects with friends that will enrich our lives.
I've been feeling so existential and sentimental recently, in an extreme way I've never experienced before, because it is paired with the efforts I've made to treat myself differently and better. For the first time in what feels like a very long time, I actually find myself wanting to make the most of my life, of life in general, instead of lying in wait for some invisible, impending threat, or even merely waiting for things to maybe work out in an acceptable, tepid way someday. I want to make the most of everything. I think this is the key to sustained happiness and hopefulness–—listening to what your body wants, treating it as well as you can, and using the stamina you achieve to connect with others and be present in the world. It may all be doomed, but I still see beauty around me simply by not turning away from it anymore, enough beauty to really, really believe that it is such an exquisite accident to be alive.
5d ago
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I left all social media for something like five years and only posted on a small insular abandoned app during that time and that was the main way I communicated with people. After feeling repeatedly hurt and misunderstood and wondering why it was so hard to build earnest connections through this medium I decided to leave. I realized that constantly narrativizing my life with no filter gave me no space to process or examine and kept me trapped in deeply baked-in stories in my head.
Anyway I’ve maintained contact with a small handful of my closest friends and it has honestly been somewhat difficult keeping in touch to the same degree as I did before about everyone’s day to day lives.
I think the hardest part is being the odd one out so you’re missing out on the tidbits they share in this one centralized place for the purpose of economy and time and that’s something you kind of just have to accept. There’s a certain level of meticulous detail that may be lost to you and I think interactions become more of a broad big-picture thing; not being so bogged down in the mundanity allows you to engage with more distance and perspective which can lead to greater depth and emotional honesty.
And then it’s funny because the communication you’re engaging in becomes so direct that rather than everything being so uniform and kind of tossed out there, everything has to be very intentional and personal.
You have to choose to reach out, again and again; you also have to choose when to give people space. You have to be very conscious of the balance between giving and taking because everything isn’t just being offered all at once indirectly on both sides—and this balance won’t always be perfect and sometimes you might not handle it in the most perfect way.
I decided at the beginning of the year that intentionality would be my main theme and I’m still working on it. So I don’t really have the answers but engaging with friends off of social media shapes everything in new and interesting ways and those are some thoughts I’ve had as I begin to navigate this…
Feb 24, 2025
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I’ve had sprinkles of acquaintances and light friendships with people over the years that I sometimes feel bad about losing touch with. But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to keep in touch with everyone and still have time to care for yourself and your core people. I’ve tried to stop apologizing for that and just try to let people know I appreciate them from afar. I feel like the older I get the more intentional I have to be with my time and the more healthy boundaries I need to keep. It may disappoint some, but true friends get it, and there will always be an ebb and a flow as life changes. I also feel like social media has wired us to be so hyper-connected all the time and it’s stressful to live up to the expectation of staying in constant communication with everyone you’ve met and liked. Growing up is realizing you can like and enjoy the company of many people and you may not have the time or energy to extend to everyone you want. (And actually it’s also okay not to want to!) Not everything and every connection can stay the same and I need to constantly remind myself of that. I deserve to make space and time for myself so I can love my people better.
Mar 4, 2025
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Lately, I have found much less of a calling to be on social media. I don't know a time where I checked my socials and walked away feeling happier. Do you? I have to be on my phone a fair amount due to work but I catch myself automatically clicking into apps out of boredom and I'm trying to stop that behaviour. I see the good in social media, the ability to stay connected to friends and be in-the-know on everything-- I think the whole point is that you feel left out when you're not on it.. so you're sucked in constantly. But that's not reality. I could disassociate for hours online and look up to the world around me and think, where the hell was I? I don't want to feel like a bystander watching other people's lives for a solid chunk of my day. Engaging more in the real world is a priority for me at this time in my life.
Feb 7, 2025
The past few months I have been in full comfort rewatch mode. I find going back to things I've already seen is soothing and a nice way to wind down. I'm rewatching favorite movies, favorite series... most recently including Sex & the City, Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Holiday, Dexter.
Feb 7, 2025
I'm a big Ethel Cain fan and I heard this remix first on Tiktok. Last week, I blasted this song in my living room and danced with my boyfriend, Jack. Fully chaotic jumping, spinning, sweaty dancing. Dancing is incredibly cathartic and such a good way to move stuck energy through your body-- I don't go to clubs hardly ever or take dance classes, so I'm trying to make more of an effort to "dance on my own" (hehe, song title). It's good for the soul.
Feb 7, 2025