itâs hard to get yourself out there. i experience the same dilemma. although i really enjoy my solitude. at times i wish i could be more social when it comes to meeting new people. i would recommend trying out local clubs or groups of things youâre passionate about or enjoy doing; so itâs somewhat easier to strike up a conversation when meeting or getting acquainted with someone. i also have been on the search for pen pals which even though it might not be the same, itâs a good alternative!
p.s, donât be too hard on yourself, the energy you put is the energy you will get back. it might take some time but the universe always has a way of aligning you with what you need :)
Feb 5, 2025
Comments (3)
Make an account to reply.
omg let's be internet penpals! i see so many people talking about this on here, i started a google doc and i'm trying to get a little group together :)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uDSj9AxHi4AylgtZ5tTj6pb0gYCiq4uQxCTJiCVvp1c/edit?usp=sharing
Related Recs
đ
idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025
đ©
People often ask this question on my countryâs subreddit and i can definitely understand their âfrustrationâ when it comes to feeling âlonelyâ. However i always say :
In order to find new friends you should find yourself first.
- Discovering your true self is mandatory to be able to find new friends, what are your interests ? What inspires you in life ? Whatâs your perspective in certain things ?
Once we truly find something that could connect us with other people, friends will come along easily (Not easily a 100% but itâs a step forward to that)
Then the internet stays the best way to connect with new people honestly, it all depends on the usage !
You like art ? Post your work, your opinions about certain art pieces, ask for advice to âperfectâ your work and see your cmments and dms be full of people WILLING to help and connect !
Same thing for the rest of the interests !
Political opinions ? Join the right subreddits for it
IT field ? Join discord and github communities
You like Gardening ? Facebook groups and subreddits !
You canât imagine how many GOOD people are out there willing to share and connect and help those with their same interests!
And people are so interested in whatâs new ! What you think is ânormalâ for you can literally make you so interesting for some people ! (The way you dress, the way you talk, even how you arrange your bag ! Just keep a smile on your face đ).
Just donât get attached too easily and give it time to grow.
Feb 1, 2025
đ
I wish I knew why, but the following has worked for me:
-A lot of people say to just go to stuff but it does work! Finding an event that is relevant to your interests, and going solo guarantees a good time - youâll either have a chill time by yourself or will get to chatting with other people that went alone too. I went to an art studio opening party because they had a build your own flower bouquet arrangement set up, with a still life drawing session of your bouquet afterward. I made a lovely friend who went alone too! Even if I didnât meet anyone, it wouldnât be a lost cause because I still went to something that was enjoyable for me on my own.
-Maybe more of a deeper cut option thatâs not always possible, but Iâve also met folks that are friends of friends. Having that person in common does make things a lot easier.
Wishing you the best of luck! đ€
Apr 18, 2024
Top Recs from @bossanovalvr
this song has such a chokehold on me; the chords and vocals all fit together eminently (makes me feel at ease)
Feb 7, 2025
this album has so many good songs on it; the fluidity and clarity of his voice was what first drew me into his music. the instruments and production of this album are *mwuah* this album is what introduced me to jazz.
Feb 9, 2025
i listen to this playlist when iâm pondering before i go to bed; she will forever have a special place in my heart
Feb 7, 2025