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1. Muttered softly so as not to distract or startle coworkers with perceived aggresion
2. "Don't talk to me till I've had my coffee" clearly states workspace boundaries with humor & casual, relatable firmness. "
3. Constant repetition to emphasize importance of not talking to you until you've had your coffee while also making it impossible for coworkers to get a word in edgewise. If done properly, you should be able to get from popping the coffee into the kuerig to drinking it without anyone able to say anything to you.
Be sure to make a lot of eye contact with whoever is in the breakroom during this ritual-- this communicates respect & confidence. If there is no one in the breakroom at all, go ahead and mutter "don't talk to me till I've had my coffee" to yourself. It's good practice and if anyone overhears you, they'll be sure to take you a lot more seriously.
Feb 11, 2025
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taterhole luckily my only coworkers are my dog and my cat but actually it comes out like mommy needs her coffee don’t talk to her until she’s had her coffee
taterhole nothing wrong with being communicative in the workplace, even if your coworkers are non-verbal
steelyfan1998 oh trust me they’re both terribly verbal that’s why I have to set a boundary ✋
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I used to think the whole “ don’t talk to me before I’ve had my coffee“ thing was just another one of those white people sayings like “ live laugh love“. After drinking coffee for about a year, I understand where that comes from. If someone were to ask me to do something before I have my coffee time, I may stab them ( with insults ofc). Once I have my coffee time, all is well and I may be approached. it’s the little things you gotta appreciate in life.
Feb 8, 2025
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sometimes you just need to read some real shit straight from the realest person you know .
Feb 24, 2025
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This is a confession post, not a recommendation, not even much of an anti-recommendation. Tbh it reads like a humilation ritual. Honestly just keep scrolling; it's not worth reading. I'm just posting it because I think I had a point when I first started writing this, one which I lost pretty wuickly. But I spent a good couple of minutes typing this all out, so I'll post it anyway. Thank God I'm anon. If you do read it, please forgive me.
My friend Tyler brought a joint to the super bowl party last night. He handed it to me & told me about how it had weed diamonds in it while I smoked, he told me that it was some good shit and that I wouldn't have to smoke so much of it since I've got such a low tolerance & all, but I could also smoke as much as I liked, seeing as he had a bunch more & that it was the super bowl & we had a bunch of wings on the way anyway, so might as well smoke some more weed so you know what? yeah, i smoked some more weed since what's the harm anyway it's just weed after all.
I've been a mess all day. I've been slow & stupid & disgustingly horny since I woke up this morning; but really honestly since I smoked the weed. If you're one of those types that "actually becomes more functional when you're smoking weed" & that I should "just let people enjoy things" I don't know what to say to you. I'm going to be weird for 4 weeks now and it's all my fault. This happens every time.
Even when it doesn't turn me into a non-verbal paranoiac nutcase, even when it's enjoyable to me in that moment-- I become something lower than a beast. I stand over the platter of chicken wings & gorge until I am sick and then I gorge even more. My stomach becomes distended & my face and fingers are covered in thai curry buffalo chicken fat goo. I waddle around & fart & I find this very funny. I confuse the sound of my own voice with that of my younger sisters & this is incredibly disqueting to me. Do I really sound like that? I become a big confused overgrown fat baby.
I'm going to be be weird for four weeks now. Slow. I was supposed to meet up with my friends to watch Luka's debut for the Lakers. I'm stitting at my desk typing this up; procrastinating going to the gym (which I can NOT neglect [especially after my evening of spiritual obesity]) & the game starts in 5 minutes. Stupid. Typing out this confession right now is painfully difficult. Every word that I type has the appearance of a whitehead that can't be popped to me. This textbox full of blemishes so infuriatingly, stubbornly, immutably DISGUSTING. I feel sick just reading back what I'm writing here. Once again, if you've made it this far, forgive me. This is a confession, not a recommendation. Disgustingly horny. This one I won't elaborate on. Forgive me.
It's not because I smoked weed. The smoking of the weed was just the first movement in a sequence that had already begun before I'd even accepted the joint from Tyler. My own spiritual weakness is the mantle upon which all of these failings hang. I'm not this way because I smoked weed, I'm this way because I'm the type of guy that smokes weed even though I know what it will do to me. There are 999,999,999 other weeds in my life that I am all too willing to permit myself. I haven't eaten anything but bread & butter all day. The lakers game is starting soon. Off to the gym I go.
Feb 11, 2025
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